


Cheat the Fates

by indiefic



Series: Eternal Order [2]
Category: Snowpiercer (2013)
Genre: Adultery, Cheating, Curtis has a flock of ducklings, F/M, Kids, Pregnancy, So Many Kids, no really, people suck, post apocalyptic frozen wasteland, pregnancy loss, the train derailed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 04:31:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9640883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiefic/pseuds/indiefic
Summary: A possible sequel to Eternal Order.  Curtis and Anna were together in the Tail on Wilford’s train after the world froze.  The train derailed in its first year and the survivors settled a frozen city.Curtis and Anna’s love for each other wasn’t enough to save their relationship.  Nearly a decade after they separated, circumstance forces them together again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dorrinverrakai1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorrinverrakai1/gifts).



> Anna Gilliam is an original character completely based on Peggy Carter from the MCU. (If Peggy Carter had spent her formative years in an apocalyptic hell.) 
> 
> Madeline is loosely based on Jessica Biel’s character, London, from the movie London. 
> 
> Wald is solidly based on Col. Chester Phillips from Captain America.
> 
> **
> 
> The plot for this story is very much inspired by the TV show Vikings.

**2030**

**Perseverance Camp Perimeter**

 

Curtis rubbed his aching jaw and looked at the young man, so changed from the child he’d once held.  “Come on, Edgar,” he said quietly, hoping to forestall more violence.  “Let me talk to her.”

“Fuck you, you cunt,” Edgar seethed.  “You left.  You don’t get to come crawling back now because you finally realized that Maddy is a fuckin’ blood suckin’ harpy.  We don’t owe you shit.”

Curtis sighed.  “I’m not crawling anywhere, Edgar.  I need to see Anna.  And I’m not the one who left.  Anna did.   _ You _ left  _ me _ .”

Edgar bared his teeth.  “You fuck,” he spat.  “You brought another woman home.  Because Anna wasn’t enough.  Because _ I _ wasn’t enough.  The idea of having your own flesh and blood brats was more important than  _ our family _ .”

“It wasn’t like that - “ Curtis started, but Edgar turned away, retreating deeper into the camp.  The row of enforcers quickly closed ranks, making it clear to Curtis that he wasn’t getting into Perseverance, much less getting close to the Engineer.  Each one of the dozen men before him would die to protect Anna.  Curtis found that as encouraging as he did frustrating.

He turned away, heading back to the subway tunnels that would take him home to Span.  It was the camp where he lived, along with Madeline and their five kids.  It was home, as it had been since everyone first settled after the derailment of Wilford’s eternal engine.  Over the years, most people left Span, looking for a better life.  Curtis was one of the few holdouts.  It was becoming clearer, by the day, what an absolute disaster he’d made of everything.

Curtis knew that it seemed cut and dry to Edgar, simple math.  Edgar believed that Curtis’s relationship with Maddy was nothing more than Curtis wanting a younger lover and his own biological children.  

There had been nothing simple about how Curtis’s relationship with Anna fell apart.

In the years after the derailment, the train survivors settled the frozen city.  It was an enormous, densely clustered collection of buildings that had once been home to millions of people.  There were a couple thousand survivors from the train.  At first, they all stuck together.  But as time passed, factions splintered.  Now there were at least five large camps in the city, and probably countless smaller enclaves.

Curtis, Anna, Edgar and Gilliam were a family.  They’d been part of the infrastructure, both on the train and in the original camp, Span.  It was hard.  Times were tough.  But they were a solid unit.  They carved out a home.

Curtis only had the vaguest recollections of the way things worked before the freeze, before the rattling hell.  What he knew was that in this new world, blood mattered.  The ability to further the human race mattered.  Curtis hadn’t been the Engineer of Span camp, that was McGreggor.  But in order for Curtis to solidify his position in the camp, he needed children.  He needed to prove that he could quite literally help create the future.

And in hindsight, he wonders if bringing more children into this frozen hell was his way of trying to atone for the lives he took on the train.

Curtis and Anna tried for kids.  There were miscarriages, all early, but no less crushing for their brevity.  And years of fruitless trying.  They loved Edgar.  But the loss and failure ate at both Curtis and Anna.  Month after month, year after year, trying and hoping, only to have nothing to show for it but heartbreak and bitterness.

It poisoned their relationship.  It turned intimacy into an absolute chore.  They had no idea which of them was at fault, or if it was just a string of incredibly bad luck.  Curtis cursed this new hell where offspring mattered so much.  He loved Anna.  He’d always loved Anna.  Even when she hated him.  But their relationship had taken so many blows.  

Curtis and Anna were on the rocks, long before Madeline.  

The people who settled the city learned that Wilford had been wrong.  There were survivors beyond the train.  They were able to patch together communications arrays, they duct taped together a power plant.  It was a far cry from how it had been before the freeze, but they had something.  They searched for other survivors on radio channels, called to them to come.  And the survivors answered the call, in trickles.  

Madeline was in one of those new waves, years after Anna and Curtis had settled Span.  Maddy was a new face, who had never known Wilford’s iron fist.  Maddy was young and beautiful.  She didn’t need a damn thing from Curtis but his time and attention.  She was as carefree as it was possible to be after the freeze.  She had no responsibilities, no worries.  She laughed and danced.

It hadn’t helped that Curtis and Anna had barely been speaking at the time that he met Madeline.  Anna was so angry at him, all the time, for any number of reasons.  Curtis loved Anna, but he had his limits.  And the contempt he saw in her eyes hardened his heart.  He was sick of being her whipping boy.  Sorrow turned to bitter anger and resentment.

Curtis got drunk.  He did something so incredibly stupid.  

And it changed the course of everyone’s lives, forever.

Monogamy wasn’t the norm after the freeze.  Every possible combination of people could constitute a family unit.  It wasn’t at all uncommon for a man to have multiple wives, or a woman to have multiple husbands.  People did whatever was necessary to make things work, to survive, to provide for the future.

Curtis wondered what would have happened if he had been up front with Anna after he had sex with Maddy.  Anna would have been irate, he knew.  But maybe they could have salvaged something.  

He suspects that was a pipe dream.  Anna was never going to forgive him.  Not then.  Not now.

So Curtis kept quiet after his encounter with Maddy.  He told himself it was just that one time.  One slipup, in a lifetime with Anna.  No one would ever know.  He did his damndest to shore up his relationship with Anna, but he was still on her shitlist.  

Then Maddy told him she was pregnant with his child.  

Curtis never blamed Anna for their inability to have children.  Not once.  To him, it was a heartbreak they shared together.  But Anna had never been a forgiving soul.  She always looked for someone to blame.  And with irrefutable proof that Curtis was able to have children, it cast their years of failure in a bitter new light.  

Curtis regretting betraying Anna more than almost anything he had ever done.  But he couldn’t turn his back on his child.  Not even for Anna.  He finally had to come clean with her.  

He tried for bravado.  He announced to Anna that he was bringing Maddy into their home.  A second wife.  They would all be a family.  Edgar would have a younger sibling.  They would make it work.

Curtis’s left bicep never fully healed from where Anna stabbed him.  She also gave him a concussion, and chipped two of his teeth.  Truth told, her leaving him was more painful than any of his physical wounds.

That was it.  Anna left that very night, taking Edgar and Gilliam with her.  Curtis’s family was gone in a moment.

When Anna first left, Curtis had been so angry.  Anger was fantastic.  It obliterated any lingering guilt he had over his actions.  He told himself he was better off without Anna and Edgar and Gilliam.  He didn’t need his partner, or son, or father.  He had a new love, a new family.

Curtis moved Madeline in and they welcomed their first son, Marcus.  Marcus hadn’t even been crawling when Madeline was pregnant again, this time with their daughter, Melinda.  They had five children in five years.  

Curtis was the one who finally put the brakes on things, after Misha was born.  He loved his kids, but making sure they didn’t starve to death was a real trick.  And Maddy never worried about things like that.  She left all that to Curtis.

Curtis didn’t love Maddy.  He didn’t know if he had ever loved her.  He definitely wanted to sleep with her.  He loved how readily she accepted him, how few demands she made of him.  He loved how she didn’t worry about the future.  Except he learned that she never worried about the future.  Not ever.  The future was  _ his _ problem, and his problem alone.

Hindsight had a phenomenal way of putting everything in perspective.  Curtis knew with certainty that he never loved Maddy the way he loved Anna - the way he  _ still _ loved Anna.

Knowing that he was still in love with Anna did nothing but add to his daily misery.  She hated him.  She wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.  He knew it was no less than he deserved for how profoundly he betrayed her trust.

So Curtis had spent the last eight years trying to carve out a living for himself, Madeline, and the children.  It was often bleak.  Span was struggling.  So many people left.  Madeline was no longer content with Curtis’s time and attention.  It was more clear than ever that the only thing they had in common was the children.  Edgar called Maddy a blood sucking harpy, which wasn’t fair.  She was really young when they got together.  The onus was on Curtis, not her.  He was the one who should have known better, should have  _ done _ better.

Maddy was unhappy.  Curtis thought she was finally starting to realize how much she threw away on him.  He understood her anger.  But he hated going home most nights.  He found more and more creative excuses to avoid being home at the same time as Maddy.

While Curtis and Maddy were building a family, Anna went to Perseverance, the largest of all the human camps.  Curtis didn’t know how much was true, but he heard stories of how she stormed in and coupled up with the camp Engineer.  When he died under mysterious circumstances, Anna staged a coup and became the Engineer.  

Perseverance was the most populous and prosperous human settlement.  It had nearly fifteen hundred occupants, and gained more on a weekly basis.  They had more territory, more farms, more power, more resources than any of the other camps.  They were organized and efficient.  

They didn’t need him.  

But he needed them.

 

* * *

 

**Two weeks later**

 

Nam looked over at Curtis, pity clearly etched on his grizzled features.  “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“You going to turn me in?” Curtis asked, looking around the interior of the small bar.  Perseverance actually had bars, where you paid or bartered for your drink.  This one was a real hole in the wall, but it was exactly the kind of place Curtis needed to hide if he was going to slip past the patrols.  He didn’t know how much the guards knew, aside from the fact that the Engineer didn’t want him in the camp.  Honestly, that was probably all they needed to know.

Nam frowned at him and shook his head.  “Why are you here?  You didn’t come all this way to drink with an old man.”

Curtis scrubbed his hand through his dirty hair.  “Span is dying,” he said flatly.  “We’re not going to last another winter.”  He knew it was probably common knowledge what a bad spot Span was in.  

Nam nodded.  “Smaller camps would take you in,” Nam said.  “Park, Summit, they always need pilgrims.”

“If it was Yona, would you take her to Summit?” Curtis asked pointedly.  At the mentione of his daughter, Nam looked away, which didn't shock Curtis.  “They’re my kids, Nam.  I’m not taking them to Summit or Park.  I want to bring them to Perseverance.  And you know me, you know I’ll contribute.  I’m not dead weight.  I have skills the camp could use and I’ll do whatever job needs to be done.”

Nam frowned at him.

“I know she’s still pissed, Nam,” Curtis said quietly.  “I know.  But I can’t watch my kids starve.  Whatever she wants, I’ll do it.  I’m not too proud.”

“What makes you think Anna will listen to me?”

“I don’t know that she will,” Curtis admitted.  “But I hope.  I already know Edgar wants me dead.  He’s not going to go to bat for me.”

Nam frowned and took another drink.  “No promises,” he said firmly.  

 

* * *

 

Madeline was standing in their disaster of a home, one room in a crumbling old building that had been a department store in another life.  There were children and things everywhere.  Maddy wasn’t much of a housekeeper, though Curtis never helped out either.  It was hard to take pride in your home when it was little more than a trash heap and all your energy went to survival.

“Perseverance?” she said, her voice hard and measured.

He nodded, watching Maddy wrestle Misha into a hat, tying it under her little chin.  He knew she would have it off in no time.  It was a constant struggle to keep Misha from doing things that would harm her.  “We can’t stay here,” he said.  “Span is dying.”

Maddy shook her head, straightening up.  “She’s at Perseverance, right?”

Curtis looked away, and then back to Maddy.  “Anna’s the Engineer at Perseverance.  She, Edgar and Gilliam are all there.  Along with a lot of other people I knew from the train.”

Maddy sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.  Curtis doubted she was jealous.  She wasn’t the jealous type.  That dynamic was never how their relationship worked.  It was more likely that Maddy was afraid Anna would kill him and leave her to be a single parent.  

“I don’t want to go,” Maddy said flatly.  “I like it here.”

It was a lie, and a bad one at that.  He shrugged.  “You want to watch the kids starve?”

She pursed her lips together and shook her head, her long hair moving about her shoulders.  He knew she was angry, frustrated.  They had clawed out an existence, such as it was, and this move would change everything.  “There are other camps in the city, you know,” she said, pinning him with her gaze.

Micah bounded over and Curtis picked him up, frowning at his youngest son.  Micah studied him, patting him on the cheek.  Micah looked like his mother, the same light hazel eyes, wavy blondish brown hair.  Both of their cheekbones were far too sharp.

“We’re moving, Mad,” Curtis said.  “Tomorrow.  Start packing.”

 

* * *

 

Gray was the one who met them in the tunnel.  It wasn’t just Curtis, Maddy, and the kids.  It was the bulk of Span camp.  Nearly eighty people.  There were a dozen or so who chose to stay at Span.  Curtis wondered if they would have the sense to leave before they froze or starved.  He hoped so.

Gray looked him up and down, shaking his head.  Curtis shifted, repositioning Misha in his right arm, the large duffle slung over his left shoulder.  He followed as Gray led them through the tunnels, past the Perseverance sentries.  Curtis knew that Anna had to have signed off on them moving into camp.  He tried not to read too much into that.  He couldn’t imagine she would let a bunch of kids starve, regardless of how much she hated him.

The heart of Perseverance encompassed six city blocks, which included a lot of apartment buildings.  Gray led them to a building on the edge of Perseverance territory.  It was worn, but solid, far better maintained than anything in Span territory.  

Gray showed Curtis to an apartment on the third floor.  It had four bedrooms, running water and a working fireplace for heat.  Gray told him there was a project in the works to get the building’s boiler functioning.  It was beyond Curtis’s wildest dreams.  He had to swallow past the lump in his throat when he thanked Gray.

Gray nodded, and clapped him on the shoulder.  He ruffled Micah’s hair.  Curtis invited him in, but Gray shrugged him off, telling Curtis where Curtis needed to report for work detail on Monday morning.

Maddy and the kids settled in.  There wasn’t much furniture, but they didn’t need much.  Curtis, and several of the other adults who came from Span, headed to one of the supply depots with the vouchers Gray gave them.  They stood in line and took their allotments, which included some basic provisions and a couple of mattresses and blankets.  

The kids were beside themselves with the space and amenities.  Truth told, so was Maddy.  She looked happier than Curtis could remember her looking in a long time.  He knew if he pulled her close, she would hold him tight.  

But he didn't reach for her, and he saw the resentment in her eyes.  

They spent most of the night giving all the kids their first real bath in months, and then they tucked them into new beds.  Tomorrow would be laundry, an epic undertaking shared with most of the building’s occupants in the massive washtubs in the basement.  Curtis wondered what it said about him that he was looking forward to it.

On Monday morning, Curtis got in line with everyone else.  He pulled a work detail repairing plumbing fittings, which he doubted was coincidence.  It was fine.  He was still shocked as hell that Anna let him in the camp at all.  He would wade through shit if that was the cost of keeping his kids alive.  At least now he had a working shower.

 

* * *

 

Twelve weeks were gone before Curtis knew it.  Things were better.  Curtis had a regular work detail.  It was hard, lots of manual labor.  He was very aware that he was a small cog in a very big machine.  He did his part, while others did their parts, and it took the burden off everyone.  Curtis didn't have to spend every waking moment managing a crisis or hustling for basic necessities.  He didn't have to be everything to everyone.

Curtis did his work.  He got his pay.  He went home to his wife and kids at the end of the day.  Everyone ate.  Everyone was clean and warm.  

Maddy was happier in Perseverance, despite her initial reluctance.  There were a lot more people.  There were groups of women, with small children, who tended to congregate.  They shared childcare duties, they talked.  Maddy made some actual friends.  Unlike it had been in Span, these women didn’t blame her for being part of the camp’s downfall.  The kids’ cheeks were rounder, their lips less blue.  Misha didn't cry so much now.  She wasn’t so sick all the time.

Things between Curtis and Maddy were less fractious, which he knew was good for the kids.  Curtis still spent most nights on the couch they bartered for, but even that was an improvement.

He still stayed out late, to avoid going home.  Some of the old crew were slowly warming up to him again.  He grabbed a beer with Gray most evenings after the kids were asleep.  

The night when Gilliam walked in the bar, Curtis nearly spilled his drink.  The old man joined them at the table.  Curtis felt like an idiot.  He couldn't do anything but stare.  He thought it must feel like seeing someone back from the dead.  Gilliam was his father in so many ways, and when he left, so many years ago, Curtis had been lost.

Gilliam didn't say anything, but he reached over and placed his hand on top of Curtis’s head.  Curtis covered the old man’s hand with his own, unable to speak, unable to stop the tears.  Gilliam stood up and leaned over the table, wrapping his frail arm around Curtis.  “My boy,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotion.  “I have missed you so much.”

It took some doing, but eventually everyone had themselves in check again.  Curtis was quiet, listening to Gilliam's rambling tales.  They stayed out too late and Curtis helped Gray get Gilliam back to his apartment.

 

* * *

 

Life in Perseverance fell into a rhythm.  A regular group started meeting at the bar most nights.  It was always Gray, and often Nam and Seth.  Gilliam started showing up with some regularity.  Even Andrew joined from time to time.

They talked a lot of shit, all of them.  Curtis knew most of them were more highly positioned in Perseverance’s power structure than he was.  It was interesting, to learn how a camp of this size functioned.  Despite sharing Wilford’s title, Anna didn’t adopt any of his governing strategies.  She didn't hide behind myth and mystery.  She was front and center, leading the camp and its people.  Though Curtis didn't get the impression that people found her particularly approachable.  He suspected she intentionally kept a distance.  Always visible, but rarely approachable.

There were monthly all-camp meetings, where Anna presided.  She often didn't say a lot, deferring to whoever’s area of expertise was up for discussion at any particular meeting.  But she made her presence known.  

Curtis watched her from a distance.  He hadn’t run into her, not that he expected he would.  He still tended to pull the worst shifts in the worst places.  He was low man in the queue.  So he spent a lot of time in storm sewers and basements.  Meanwhile, Anna was at the center of camp, running the show.

The few times he glimpsed her in the distance, she was never alone.  He asked, as surreptitiously as he could, about her.  No one said much.  It was clear everyone respected her, and they followed without question.  It was actually Maddy, who, after helping herself to the bottle of scotch in the kitchen cabinet, informed him the gossip she learned.  

Maddy reiterated what Curtis already heard, that Anna murdered her Engineer husband, and took his place.  By all accounts, she did a hell of a better job than him.  Maddy seemed to delight in telling Curtis about Anna’s stable of young men.  Her “seconds”.  They all had real jobs, which didn't shock Curtis.  Anna never did like a freeloader.  But they also seemed to share a close,  _ special  _ relationship with the Engineer.  Curtis did his best not to react to that.  It wasn’t like he thought Anna was living chastely after he cheated on her.  But he really didn't want to talk about it.  Especially not with Maddy.

Curtis’s ego took quite a few hits, and none of them had to do with the amount of excrement his job involved.  He was pretty sure Maddy was sleeping with one of the other mothers from her group of new friends.  He wondered if he should be upset.  Mostly he was relieved.  Her affair wouldn’t leave him with another mouth to feed, and it got her off his back.

The jobs Curtis pulled in the daily queue eventually improved.  Less shit, more electrical work and welding, both of which Curtis could manage.  The crap jobs, literally, now went to the latest influx of new arrivals, a band of people from both the Park camp and from the Outlands.  The only plus that Curtis could see to this was that the Span refugees were no longer at the bottom of the queue.

Now that his jobs were slightly less dangerous, Curtis started taking Marcus and Melinda with him during the day.  They would be nine and eight this year.  They were young, but strong, smart.  Curtis showed them all that he knew and they soaked it all in.  

Perseverance had schools.  Not like the ones he remembered from before the freeze, but schools nonetheless.  Marcus, Melinda and Macey would all start classes in a couple of weeks, so he wanted to spend as much time with them as he could.  He wasn’t looking forward to how Misha was going to react to three of her siblings disappearing during the day, but he hoped that these little changes could get her acclimated a bit.

On the jobs, Marcus and Melinda weren’t the only ones who paid attention to him.  Curtis noticed how the other people on the crew started gravitating to him, listening to him.  He didn't want to step on the toes of the crew boss, so he tried to discourage it, but it kept happening.

“It’s just who you are,” Gilliam told him when he finally mentioned it over a beer.  “You’re a leader, Curtis.  Your talents were wasted in Span.  You excel at both strategic and tactical planning.”

Curtis frowned.  He didn't necessarily debate what Gilliam was saying.  But he knew his potential for leadership was severely hampered in Perseverance.  He didn't want to do anything that Anna could possibly perceive as a threat.

Gilliam patted him on the arm.  “There’s a fealty ceremony on the new moon this quarter,” he said.

Curtis did the math in his head.  That was roughly two weeks away.  Fealty ceremonies weren’t something they had done in Span.  There simply weren’t enough people.  But in a larger camp, like Perseverance, Blut, and Honneur, Curtis could see the need.  

The world Curtis remembered, the world before the freeze, was gone.  And gone with it were any number of traditions.  Society regressed, become more primitive.  People no longer had resumes and credit histories.  All that existed now was a man’s word and his willingness to do whatever was necessary for those he protected.

To that end, there were fealty ceremonies in the larger camps.  People declared their loyalty to the camp Engineer. Swearing fealty came with a price, it bound the oathtaker to their leader.  If the Engineer decreed that something would happen, all those who swore fealty were bound to back it, even if they personally disagreed.

But there were benefits to being an oathtaker.  Better jobs, better living quarters.

The question for Curtis wasn’t if he would swear fealty to Anna.  The question was if she would allow it.

* * *

 

Every day for, literally, years, Curtis imagined what would happen if he were to come face to face with Anna again.  He practiced every possible scenario.  He wanted to get her attention, to apologize, to make her notice him in some meaningful way, even if it was just so she could yell at him.

So it was no shock that when he finally saw her, he just stood there, slack jawed, staring.  They weren’t exactly face to face.  She was on the other side of one of the cavernous rooms in what used to be a public library branch.  He was there with a dozen other workers, salvaging timbers they needed to shore up new tunnels the moles were digging between several of the central buildings.  Anna, from the look of it, was just passing through the building, probably as a shortcut.  There were two men trailing behind her.  Curtis wondered if they were some of her seconds.

She was almost to the door when something stopped her and she turned.  They were a hundred yards apart.  Curtis’s eyesight was shot after years of either staring at snow, or squinting in the dark.  He couldn't make out her features.  But he knew she was looking at him.  Did she recognize him?  Did she have any idea who he was?

At a loss for anything else to do, he lifted his hand in greeting.  

She stared for a long moment, and then turned away, returning to her conversation with her companions.

 

* * *

 

Curtis looked down at Marcus.  “Where’s your sister?”  Marcus looked up at him and pointed to Melinda.  Curtis frowned.  “Not Melinda.  Macey.  Where is she?”

Marcus looked around and shrugged.

Cursing under his breath, Curtis lowered himself out of the access hatch and dropped back down into the hallway.  He looked at Marcus and Melinda.  “You two stay right here.  Do you hear me?  Do not go anywhere.”  Neither of them appeared to be paying much attention to him and he hoped like hell that they would listen.  His kids weren’t great at taking direction.  They pretty much did whatever they wanted.

Curtis looked back and forth down the hall.  He had no idea where Macey might have gone.  She was a wanderer.  He knew Madeline didn’t want to let him take Macey that morning, but he took her despite the protests.  He knew Macey wanted to be able to do the same things that Marcus and Melinda did.

He glanced in all the rooms he passed and didn't see anything.  They were in the basement of one of the central buildings, pulling wires for a new infrastructure project Zhao had in the works.  There were a million places a kid as small as Macey could get stuck or lost.

“Shinji,” Curtis called to the guy using a torch to cut a hole in several of the steel girders.  

Shinji lifted his welding visor.  

“Have you seen my daughter?” Curtis asked.  “The little one?”

Shinji shook his head and went back to his work.  Curtis cursed again.  Fuck, Maddy was going to kill him if he lost one of the kids.  Curtis checked the stairwell, which was empty.  He bounded up to the next floor, hoping Macey didn’t manage to make it this far.

He checked a half dozen empty rooms and then heard voices.  He jogged down to the end of the hall and stopped cold.  Macey was there, unharmed, and relief flooded through Curtis.  But the relief was short lived.

Anna was crouched next to Macey and the two of them were looking at a kaleidoscope.  Anna saw him and gave him a look he couldn't read.  She turned her head toward Macey.  “I think your father has been looking for you.”

Macey looked up at him and her little brow puckered with a frown.

“Baby,” he said, reaching out as she lifted her arms to be picked up, “I told you not to wander off.”  Macey looked like she might start crying and ducked her head against his chest.  

Anna pushed herself to her feet and said, “She has been helping me sort through items that need to be delivered to the creches.”

Macey wrapped her arms around Curtis’s neck and rested her head against his chest, watching Anna.  He stood there, looking at Anna, searching for something to say.  “Thanks for looking after her,” he finally offered lamely.  He wondered if Anna had known that Macey was his daughter.

Anna nodded, but her expression was closed, her gaze appraising.  He had no idea what to expect.  This exchange was already a thousand times more civil than he imagined, though that could be because he was holding a child.  

Curtis decided to go for broke.  “It’s good to see you, Anna.”

Again, her expression gave him nothing.  Fuck, he missed her.  The force of it seemed to hit him like a punch.  He’d forced himself to forget her over the years, tried to convince himself that he didn’t need her.  But it had been a lie.  

Anna was a singularly stunning woman.  Her dark hair was shiny, falling in soft waves around her shoulders.  Her eyes were darker than he remembered.  Darker even than Gilliam’s, the color of brandy.  He could tell, even through the layers she wore, that her figure was still fantastic.

He cleared his throat.  “And thank you,” he continued, “for allowing us into camp.  I can't tell you how much it helped.  You saved us.”

Her lips pursed together and she arched an eyebrow.  She sighed and looked away, seemingly uninterested in polite formalities.  “You look old, Curtis.”

He laughed mirthlessly, shifting Macey in his arms.  “I feel old,” he replied truthfully.

She gave him a reluctant smile and he was overwhelmed with memories from a lifetime ago.  Anna had always been an overly-serious pain in the ass.  She wasn’t one to laugh or play.  But he could always make her smile.  He was the only one who could make her smile - other than Edgar.

Just then, a young man walked into the room, quickly looking from Anna to Curtis and back again.  He started to say something to Anna, but she looked away dismissively.  “Mason said you’re doing a hell of a job on the crew,” she said to Curtis.

He shrugged, wondering what was going on between Anna and the newcomer.  “I do what I can.”

“You’re being overly modest,” she said flatly.  “You shouldn’t be answering to Mason.  She’s competent, but nothing more.  She aspires to be a midlevel bureaucrat.”

He was careful when he replied, “I don’t want to overstep.”

“Oh, Curtis,” she said with a mirthless laugh.  “You’ve already overstepped.  We might as well get as much use out of you as we can.”  She pursed her lips together again and he wondered if she intended the double entendre.  “Claude will find you tomorrow,” she said.  “She’ll give you a project more suited to your talents.”

“I - “ he fell silent.  He didn't know what to say.  “Thank you.”

END CHAPTER


	2. Chapter 2

“Daddy lost Macey in the basement.”

Curtis glowered at Melinda.  “I thought we had a deal, traitor.”  

She smiled impishly and bounded off toward the bedroom she shared with her sisters.  Madeline looked at him, obviously unimpressed.  She crossed her arms over her chest, sighing.  “Care to explain?”

He held up his hands, placating.  “She wasn’t gone long.  And I found her, perfectly unharmed.  She was with ... she was helping pack up items to be delivered to the creches.”

Madeline narrowed her gaze at him.  

Curtis sighed, looking at Maddy.  “There’s a fealty ceremony in a few days.”

Maddy nodded.  “You’re dying for a chance to grovel before her in front of a crowd, aren’t you?”

Frowning, Curtis set his hands on his hips.  “We’re doing better here,” he said.  “But we still have five kids to look after and you know that Misha needs help.”

“Do whatever you want, Curtis,” Maddy countered.  “But leave me out of it.  I already knew you’d be kissing her ass, begging her forgiveness, as soon as you got a chance.”

“It’s not like that,” he ground out.

Maddy turned away, shaking her head.  “Tell yourself whatever lie makes it more comfortable when you lick her feet.  It doesn’t make a damn bit of difference to me.”

Curtis grabbed his coat as he turned toward the door.  “I’m going out, I’ll be back later.”  He didn't wait for her reply.

 

* * *

 

Curtis was on his way to the bar, to meet the guys and get their take on his apparent promotion.  The Church wasn’t exactly on his way.  But it wasn’t exactly  _ not _ on his way.  Curtis didn't think the building was ever actually a church.  But it was a gloriously gothic old building located in the very center of Perseverance territory.  

It was where Anna spent most of her time.

There were candles and lamps still burning when Curtis entered the Church.  There were some paper pushers scurrying around.  Curtis saw Wald, who as far as he could tell, was a sort of city manager for most of Perseverance’s day to day infrastructure issues.  Wald spent a lot of time with Anna, but Curtis was fairly certain Wald wasn’t one of her special friends.  Wald was a cranky old bastard who must have been useful, because sure as hell nobody was keeping him around for his looks or personality.

Curtis poked around a little, but didn't see any trace of Anna.  He wasn’t sure what he wanted, exactly.  He knew it would probably be smart to stay away from her and off her radar.  But Curtis had never been one to do the smart thing, especially where Anna was concerned.

He longed for her, for a chance to try and redeem himself in her eyes. 

Frowning, Curtis headed down the steps, toward the tunnels, fresh snow crunching underfoot.  He looked up and saw her standing in the courtyard, watching him.  Not much of her was visible, buried beneath coats and scarves, but he would recognize her eyes anywhere.  He slowly closed the distance between them, his hands shoved in his pockets - he left his gloves back at the apartment.  

Anna looked at him for a moment before turning, heading for the tunnels.  It was clear she expected him to fall into step, so he did.  She waited until they were in the tunnels to speak, pulling the scarf away from her mouth.  She glanced over at him.  “How many children do you have, Curtis?”

“Six.”

She nodded and he wondered if she already knew.  “Tell me about them.”

“Three girls and two boys.  Marcus, Melinda, Macey, Micah and Misha.”

She arched an eyebrow at him.

“I didn’t name them,” he said sheepishly.  He regrouped.  “But they’re my kids.  I love ‘em.  I’d do anything for them.”  He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.  “The littlest one, Misha, she needs help.  She, uh, has a harder time than the other kids.”

Anna nodded, her expression sober.  He waited, to see if she was going to say anything else, but it felt weird talking about his kids to Anna.

“That was five,” she said.  “You said there were six.”  She looked over at him again.

“Edgar.”

She laughed, a sharp, harsh sound.  “Jesus, Curtis,” she said, shaking her head.  “You never know when to stop, do you.”

“Apparently not.”  He didn't appreciate her implication, that Edgar wasn’t his son.  Though it didn't exactly shock him that she felt that way.  Curtis took a deep breath.  “I told Weaver I want to be part of the next fealty ceremony.”

Anna stopped walking and turned to face him, features taut.  “Absolutely not.”  His brow furrowed and he opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.  “Under no circumstances am I going to air our dirty laundry in front of the entire camp.  You’re going to have to deal with not being an oathtaker.  Don’t make me regret allowing you into this camp, Curtis.”  She turned, continuing down the tunnel.

Curtis watched for a moment and then jogged to catch up, walking in silence at her side.  The longer he followed her, the more certain he was that she was heading for the bar.  He had no idea why.  Anna didn't frequent the bar.  He’d been a regular for months and he had never seen her there.

He kept glancing at her, shocked at how much he had forgotten.  The way she walked, like she was charging into battle.  She was taller than Maddy.  And  _ more _ .  More  _ what _ , he wasn’t exactly certain.  Anna was just _ more, _ than anyone else he’d ever known.  She had a presence, a power.  He realized he had been starved for Anna’s force of personality.

They entered the bar together and everybody’s eyes went wide, but nobody said anything.  Anna crossed the room and bent down, pressing a kiss to Gilliam’s forehead and sliding into a seat next to him.  Curtis understood that while Gilliam may not have told Anna he’d renewed his relationship with Curtis, Anna had definitely known.  Curtis wasn’t sure if her presence here was a sanction of their renewed connection, or a warning.

The evening was awkward at best.  No one was comfortable in Anna’s company.  Curtis realized they were all afraid of her.  Well, almost all of them.  Gilliam wasn’t afraid.  More likely, he was confused by her presence.  And Curtis had never been afraid of Anna.  He’d gone out of his way to try and avoid pissing her off, but he wasn’t afraid.  He knew from experience that he prefered her anger to her indifference.

After several rounds, people started to loosen up.  Curtis noticed Anna wasn’t drinking much.  She sat between Gilliam and Gray and did far more listening than speaking.  She left early, taking Gilliam with her, and everyone seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief once she was gone.  

Everyone but Curtis.  He wasn’t relieved.  He suspected that just made him an idiot, or a masochist.  He wondered when he would see her again.  He wondered if she was lonely, despite all her power.

 

* * *

 

Curtis followed Claude to the Church.  There was a group assembled, several dozen people.  Edgar looked absolutely livid that Curtis was there, but he didn't say anything.  Curtis knew that Anna’s occasional glare in Edgar’s direction had a lot to do with that.

The group was a planning committee for Perseverance.  He knew most of the people by reputation.  There were three, Wald, Weaver and Paulson, who Curtis had worked with before.  No one, aside from Edgar, seemed to have any issue with Curtis being present.  He knew that they had no idea who he was.  It was obvious that Anna was serious about her desire to keep her private life very private.

Wald introduced Curtis to the group as the new lead on the infrastructure section of the expansion project.  Curtis didn't have any idea what the expansion project was, but he knew he would find out soon.  Anna spoke to the group about the importance of the acquiring new territory.  

Perseverance wasn’t encroaching on Summit camp.  Not yet.  But that was the obvious next step, even Curtis could see that.  Whatever plan Anna had there, she was playing it close to the vest.  

When the meeting adjourned, Anna left, and Edgar was right on her tail, expression stormy.  Curtis decided a strategic retreat was in order.  He left with Wald and Zhao as they headed out to survey the buildings.

 

* * *

 

At home, Curtis was vague when explaining how, exactly, his promotion came about.  Madeline knew he didn't have friends in high places.  Gray made a good living, but he wasn’t what you’d call the social elite.  Curtis didn't mention Anna’s name, but Madeline wasn’t an idiot.  Though he often wondered if she thought he was.  

He knew Maddy would have been a lot more difficult about him potentially being pulled into Anna’s circle of influence, if it hadn’t included a new, bigger apartment, closer to the center of the camp.  Madeline’s ‘friend’, Marisol, lived down the hall from the new apartment.  With the move, he and Maddy completely stopped pretending.  Not that Curtis really cared, but there were often two distinct head intentions on the pillows in Madeline’s bed, neither of them his. 

With the promotion came a pay bump substantial enough that they could afford to hire two teenage girls, Kelsey and Divya, to help with housework and the kids.  It took a lot of the strain off Maddy, so she cut him some slack, though not before getting in a few pot shots about how he better be careful around the new girls.  Curtis laughed, before he could stop himself.  

He knew he was in trouble.  Maddy knew as well as he did that the idea of teenage girls held zero appeal for him.  He tried that once, and it blew up his entire life.  He may as well have told Maddy, point blank, that he regretted sleeping with her.

Curtis truthfully didn't know if he regretted his affair with Maddy or not.  Part of him thought yes, in a heartbeat, he would take it all back.  God knew he’d spare Anna and Edgar the anguish.  His biggest regret was the pain he caused them.  But Curtis loved his kids.  They were what got him off the couch in the mornings.  He couldn't imagine his life without them.  And regardless of what he wished, the past was the past.  He couldn’t take it back even if he wanted to.  He and Maddy made this bed, such as it was, and they had to lie in it.

Curtis started making inquiries, to see if there was anybody who might be able to assist with Misha.  Any insight into how to help her would be a huge relief to Curtis, but so far, there hadn’t been much progress.  Change was hard on her, despite how much it improved the situation for the entire family.  Consistency seemed to be the biggest help, it seemed to keep her the calmest.  Curtis hated this world where he couldn't make his children feel safe.

He knew Maddy resented him, at times, for his devotion to Misha.  She was the youngest, the baby.  And she needed him more than any of the other kids, in a very literal, practical sense.  That much was clear, from the moment she was born.  

Curtis wondered, at times, if he wouldn’t have done better by the other children if they’d let Misha go.  He knew that’s what most families did, regardless of how painful it was.  In this world where it was a daily struggle to get by, the resources needed to take care of a child who required special attention could mean the difference between a family living and starving to death.

But Curtis wouldn’t abandon Misha.  It wasn’t an option.  So he made the only sacrifices he could.  He stopped sleeping with Maddy.  They sure as hell couldn’t handle another kid on top of Misha and the four they already had.  

Absence and abstinence certainly hadn’t made either Maddy or Curtis’s hearts grow fonder.  He thought it made the problems all the more apparent, once they could no longer fuck them away and distract themselves with more kids.

Curtis spent as much time with Misha as he could, he helped architect their lives in a way to support her as much as he could.  But when it was clear that his capabilities weren’t going to be enough, that’s when he turned an eye to Perseverance.

So far, his gamble had paid off better than he ever dared hope.  Misha was doing better.  All the kids were doing better.  Curtis slept better, metaphorically, if not literally.  Definitely not literally.  He shared a room with Marcus and Micah.  Misha wandered in and slept on him most nights.  She was not a particularly great sleeping companion.  She had a tendency to flail around and roll over in her sleep, punching him in the face, or kicking him in the ribs.  But even that he was grateful for.

 

* * *

 

The expansion project was in its planning stage, which meant Curtis spent what he felt to be an absurd amount of time sitting in meetings.  In his downtime, he was on any number of work crews.  He was never lacking for manual labor in need of doing.  

It was late in the day.  Most of the crew had gone home, but Curtis needed to finish up a few cabling runs before he could head out.  He turned around and found Edgar standing behind him, teeth bared, hands balled into fists at his side.  

Curtis looked Edgar up and down.  He was obviously spoiling for a fight.  “Edgar,” he said carefully.

“I fuckin’ hate you,” Edgar seethed.

Curtis took a deep breath and looked at the young man, so full of rage, so lost.  So like Curtis was himself, so many years ago.  Curtis understood that this moment was of his own making.  He frowned.  

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Curtis said quietly.  He rehearsed this too many times to count.  “I love you, Edgar.  I’ve always loved you.  And I miss you.  I’m sorry my actions meant you grew up without a father.”

Edgar flinched, like he’d been hit.  Whatever he was expecting, it was clear that Curtis’s quiet admission wasn’t it.  

Edgar rallied quickly, clinging to his anger like a drowning man to a life preserver.  He laughed mirthlessly.  “Makes sense.  Considering you also killed my mother.”

For a moment Curtis thought Edgar was speaking metaphorically about how Curtis betrayed Anna.  But then he realized.

Edgar must have seen it on his face.  He smiled nastily, little more than a baring of teeth.  “Yeah,” Edgar said, “Anna told me.   About how my mother refused to give me over to you when I was a baby.  Refused to let you carve me up, like I was a pig for slaughter.  Anna told me how Gilliam stopped you.”

Curtis stood there for a moment, overwhelmed with the weight of his sins.  There were so many of them.  He swallowed thickly, saying the only thing he could say.  “Gilliam didn’t take you out of my arms,” Curtis said quietly.  “Anna did.  She walked right up to me and yanked you away.  I would have killed you.  I could have killed her.  But she wasn’t afraid.  All that mattered to her was saving you.”

Edgar flinched again, turning away.  He looked back at Curtis, still glaring.  “You’re not forgiven,” he snapped.  “Don’t think that’s what this means.  Anna didn’t want your fuckin’ kids to starve.  It doesn't mean anybody gives a shit what happens to you.”

Curtis didn't say anything.  He didn't have to.  Edgar stalked away.

Standing in the empty hallway, Curtis dragged a hand through his hair.  He sighed and turned back to the cabling.  It still had to get finished tonight.

 

* * *

 

Curtis should have been at home.  The kids should have been in bed.  But he wanted to see the fealty ceremony.  And he wanted his children to see it too. He wanted them to feel like they were a part of the community.  God forbid something happened to him and Maddy, he wanted the kids to have connections.

The ceremony was held in the library and there were a couple dozen people present.  Curtis stood near the front, so the children could see.  Divya came with him, to help wrangle the kids.  Curtis held Misha in one arm and Micah in the other.  The older ones were doing an admirable job of behaving so far.  He hoped they didn’t manage to set anything on fire.

Gilliam and Edgar were both present.  Some of Anna’s inner circle were present as well.  Wald was there, and Weaver.  There were two young men who Curtis had seen with Anna several times, Ivan and ... Sandra?  Sander?  He wasn’t sure about the second one’s name.

Anna entered after everyone else had assembled, and stood on a raised platform at the front of the room.  It was clear that this was a ceremony, and not some dry bureaucratic exercise.  Anna was wearing a dress of slate blue silk.  Curtis couldn't remember the last time he saw Anna in a dress.  Point of fact, he wasn’t sure he had ever seen Anna in a dress.  

The dress had an ornate collar made of woven leather and metal that ringed Anna’s neck.  The silk was attached to the collar at the very front and flowed all the way to the floor, leaving her arms and back bare.  Curtis had no idea what to make of the dress.  It looked sort of like a fancy bedsheet, billowy and flowing.  The dress would have been shapeless, but being silk, it clung to her body in places, accentuating her curves, molding to her breasts.  It reminded him so intensely of those rare lazy mornings with her in bed.

He forced his attention back to the present.  The last thing he needed right now was to be thinking about sharing a bed with Anna.

Metal cuffs ringed her upper arms, and bracelets decorated her wrists.  Her hair was braided in an intricate pattern.  Her eyes were rimmed with dark kohl.  She looked powerful, beautiful.

Everyone watched as the dozen people approached the platform.  One at a time, they knelt before Anna, taking the oath, swearing their loyalty to her.  Anna acknowledged each of them in turn, presenting them with a metal arm band, to mark them as oathtakers.

The ceremony was complete.  Just before she turned to leave, Anna looked up and her eyes met Curtis’s.  She nodded to him before turning away.

 

* * *

 

Anna frowned, clearly considering the proposal she just heard.  She looked at Vasquez.  “Is this your idea?”

Vasquez took a deep breath and then shook her head.  “Nah.  Curtis’s.  But it was a damn good plan and I think we should do it.”

Anna looked at him, holding his gaze for a moment before looking away.  She turned her head, looking at Weaver.  “What do you say?”

Weaver rubbed her chin and then crossed her arms over her chest, frowning.  “I think it’s regrettable, but necessary,” she finally said.  “Nothing else we’ve tried has worked for more than a week or two.  Maybe that’s what we need, even if it pisses off the moles.”

Anna looked at Curtis and nodded.  “Okay,” she said.  “Do it.”

Curtis nodded.  Weaver and Velasquez both headed for the door.  Curtis followed.

“Curtis?”

He stopped, turning to face Anna.  When she didn’t say anything, he took several steps toward her to close the distance.  Her brow was furrowed.  She turned, looking over her shoulder at the young man, Ivan, who was one of her regular companions.  Curtis wasn’t sure if he was a lover or a bodyguard - or maybe both.

“Leave us,” she said to Ivan.

He nodded and left through the same door Vasquez and Weaver had used, closing it behind himself.

Anna looked up at Curtis.  She looked tired.  She was wearing a worn gray sweater and a pair of dark, tight fitting jeans.  Heavy boots added an extra two inches to her height.  “Do you think it’s sabotage?” she asked.

Curtis looked at her carefully.  He shoved his hands in his pockets.  “Wouldn’t you rather discuss this with your oathtakers?”

She frowned at him sourly.  “Let’s just say I want a fresh perspective.”

He sighed, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.  “Yeah,” he said flatly.  “I think it’s sabotage, and I think it’s an inside job.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, stepping closer to him.  “Why do you say that?”

He shrugged.  “Because the damages are real pains in the ass for us.  And as much as I would like to say that our infrastructure is labeled clearly, it’s not.  It’s a fucking mess.  And for someone to be damaging only the runs that will hurt us, they have to know what they’re doing.  They have to know the camp.”

She looked away, frowning.  “Shit.”  She looked at him again.  “Do you think anyone else suspects?”

“Wald probably,” he said.  “Maybe Zhao.  She’s bright and she was brought in a few times to try and patch things up.  She definitely hasn’t said anything to me, but I bet she has her suspicions.”

Anna nodded.  “Thank you,” she said.  “That’s all.”

He took it as the dismissal it was and turned to the door.

“Curtis?”

He turned back to her.

“Keep this to yourself.”

He nodded again.  “Of course.”

 

* * *

 

Anna breathed in deep, closing her eyes as her hands fisted in the blankets.  Curtis’s hands curled around her hips, his shoulders forcing her legs wider, his tongue laving her tender flesh.  She gasped, shaking in his grasp, but he didn't stop. It was too much, she was too sensitive.  She finally twisted away, kicking at him.  

Pushing herself into a sitting position, Anna raked her hair back from her eyes, glaring at Sondre.  “Get out,” she snapped.

The shock on his face would have been comical in another setting.  He was kneeling there on her bed, his shaggy blond hair in disarray.  “Huh?”

“Out,” she snapped again.

Sondre pouted, but rose from the bed, still hard.  She watched as he carefully buttoned his pants.  She pulled on her own clothes and saw him to the door, locking it securely once he was gone.

She stood there for a moment, taking stock of herself.  What the fuck was she doing fantasizing about Curtis when she got off?  Jesus, it was pathetic.  She left him a decade ago.

Shaking her head in disgust, Anna walked into her kitchen and took a glass out of the cupboard.  She poured herself several fingers of bourbon, leaning back against the counter.

Curtis was back.

With his band of little towheaded children.  At a glance, none of them particularly resembled Curtis.  They all looked like that girl, Madeline.  But Anna had studied them closely.  She was reasonably certain they were all actually Curtis’s children, little hellions, all of them.  Besides, if the intel was any good, young Maddy now prefered women to men.  And not that she was particularly young anymore.  Five children and a decade with Curtis later, Madeline’s youth was all used up.

Anna downed the bourbon, relishing the burn.  She took a deep breath.  All these years later and she still wasn’t certain how things fell apart so spectacularly with Curtis.  She knew he betrayed her.  He knocked up that girl while Anna was still mourning their most recent loss.  Those were dark times.  Anna had slowly been coming to the realization that it was never going to happen, she and Curtis were never going to have children.  It was an entirely different kind of grief from the miscarriages themselves.  And then for Curtis to prove so clearly that it was Anna, rather than him, who was to blame for their lack of children.  It had been more than she could take.

And to add insult to injury, Curtis didn’t even have the decency to leave Anna.  He tried to bring that girl into the fold, as if Anna would ever deign to share anything, least of all her partner.  Anna knew Curtis never would have left.  It was why she spared them both, and left herself.  As much as she wanted to kill him, she knew she made the right choice in leaving instead.

None of that explained why she still found herself thinking of the man who wounded her so profoundly.  Curtis still wanted her, Anna knew that.  She hadn’t missed how he watched her.  He always was an open book.

Anna knew his marriage was as good as done.  Madeline was engaged in a flagrant affair with Vasquez’s younger sister.  As far as Anna could tell, Curtis didn't care.  She wondered if he was relieved.

For all of his faults, Curtis appeared to be a dedicated father.  And she knew he was trying to work through things with Edgar, as much as Edgar would allow.  Anna was staying out of it.  It was between them.  Anna also hasn’t missed how much Father perked up with Curtis’s return.  She knew he always loved Curtis like a son.

Anna was still tempted to stab Curtis on a daily basis.  It was just that she also suspected that she wanted him in her bed once he was stitched up.

 

* * *

 

“No, that’s just fucking great, Maddy.  Thanks,” Curtis snapped.

Madeline gave him a scathing look and stalked off down the hall where Marisol waited.  Curtis slammed the door.  In his arms, Misha whimpered.

There was a knock at the door and Curtis yanked it open, and then stopped cold.  “Edgar?”

Edgar nodded.  Curtis finally stepped back, so Edgar could come in.  Edgar looked around, confused.  “I figured there’d be kids everywhere.”

“It’s midnight,” Curtis said.  “Most of them are asleep.”

Edgar seemed to consider this and then nodded.  “Not this one though, eh?”

Curtis sighed, relieved that Edgar was at least making an attempt at polite conversation.  “This is Misha.  She’s the youngest.”

“Misha?” Edgar said.

Misha turned and looked at Edgar.

As Curtis was opening his mouth to explain that Misha didn’t do well with strangers, she held her arms out to Edgar.

Without hesitation, Edgar plucked her out of Curtis’s arms and gathered her close.

Curtis just blinked at the two of them.

Edgar noticed Curtis’s expression and said, “Is this a problem?”

Misha rested placidly in Edgar’s arms.  Curtis opened his mouth and then shut it, frowning.   He shook his head.  “Not a problem, no,” he said.  “It’s just that she’s usually afraid of strangers.”

Edgar arched an eyebrow and looked at Misha.  “That true?”

She smiled brightly at him.

“I, uh,” Curtis had no idea what to say.  This was completely unprecedented.  He motioned to the table.  Both he and Edgar took seats in the rickety chairs.  

Edgar sat there for a moment, holding Misha.  He looked over at Curtis.  “Does Madeline know?”

Curtis crossed his arms over his chest, frowning at Edgar.  “Know what?”

“That you want Anna again?”

Curtis took a breath.  “Maddy knows that Anna’s the one who left me, not the other way around.”

“She left because you stuck your dick in someone else.”  He glanced at Misha, seeming to realize too late that maybe what he wasn’t saying wasn’t appropriate for the audience.  Misha didn’t seem to be paying much attention to his words.  She was fascinated with the buttons on his shirt.

Curtis sighed.  “I’m well aware of what happened, Edgar,” Curtis said.  “I made a mistake and it destroyed everyone’s lives.”  He shook his head.  “Is there a point to this visit or did you just come over here to bust my balls?  Because, trust me, Madeline and Anna can both do that without your help.”

Edgar’s gaze narrowed.  “Trouble in paradise?”

Taking a deep breath, Curtis scrubbed a hand over his face.  It was none of Edgar’s business.  But it wasn’t a secret.  “Madeline and I have kids together.  But we aren’t together.  We haven’t been together like that for a long time.”

“Is that supposed to impress Anna?” Edgar asked.

Curtis shrugged.  “It doesn't have a damn thing to do with Anna at all.  It’s just the way things are between me and Maddy.”

Edgar frowned, but sank back again his chair, sighing.  He seemed to be working up the nerve to say something.  He looked over at Curtis and finally said, “Anna’s going to start a war.”

Curtis leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the table.  “You mean the expansion project.”

Edgar nodded.  “Yeah.”

“What does Gilliam say?  I assume you talked to him about this.”

Edgar shrugged.  “He says trying to discourage her will only make her dig in more.”

Shrugging, Curtis said, “The camp needs more space.  And not just space, but good, usable space with infrastructure that isn’t rotting.  That means either relocating the entire camp, turning away any new refugees, or pushing closer to Summit territory.”

“So you agree?”

Curtis frowned.  “I think it’s a necessary evil.  And I really doubt this was an easy decision for her.  Anna has a hot temper, but this is a coldly rational decision.”

Curtis expected Edgar to get angry with his response, but he simply sat there, frowning, seeming to take it all in.

 

* * *

 

Curtis knocked on the open door and Anna looked up from her desk.  He stepped into the room.  “Vasquez said you wanted to see me.”

She nodded, motioning for him to close the door, which he did.  She stood and walked around her desk, leaning back against it, arms crossed over her chest.  “Wald reports that the infrastructure failures have stopped since everything was re-routed to the new secured tunnel.”

Curtis nodded.  “That’s what I hear too.”

She looked at him, lips pursed tightly together and took a deep breath.  “What’s your gut say?”

He shrugged.  “I don’t know.”  Dragging his hand through his hair, he shook his head.  “Everything looks good, but - “

“But what?”

He met her gaze, holding it for a long moment.  “I feel like we’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I think some people inside Perseverance are dead set against this expansion project.”

Anna frowned.  “That’s what I think as well.”

He stood there, waiting.  When she didn’t say anything else, he asked, “Can you trust your inner circle?”

She gave him a hard look.  “What are you implying?”

Shaking his head, he said, “I’m not implying anything.  I’m asking a question.  Ivan, and that blond one.”  He shrugged.  “Hell, even Weaver and Wald.  Can you trust them?”

She looked away, refusing to answer the question.

“Look,” he said.  “Let me know if I can help you.  And be careful.”

 

* * *

 

Curtis pushed open the door to the apartment and heard raised voices.  With a house full of kids, this wasn’t out of the norm.  But these weren’t all children’s screeches he could hear.  He took off his gloves and shrugged out of his coat, laying it over the back of one of the chairs.  

He walked into the living room.  It was absolute chaos.  Edgar, Misha and Divya were apparently on one team.  Kelsey and the rest of the kids were on the other team.  Edgar and Divya were tossing a ball back and forth that the kids were scrambling to try and intercept it.  

Edgar was holding Misha.  She had her arms wrapped around his neck as she watched the proceedings with huge eyes.

Curtis leaned back against the wall, just watching.  Kelsey noticed him first, then Edgar.  Edgar tossed the ball to him and Curtis caught it without thinking.  The four older children descended upon him like a pack of feral dogs.

Curtis put on a good show, letting the kids tackle him and wrestle the ball away.  Macey was the one who scrambled out of the pile with it tucked under her arm.  She fought dirtier than the rest.  As the rest of the kids gave chase, Curtis lay on the floor trying to catch his breath.  He was still laying there when Edgar walked over and looked down at him.

Misha twisted out of Edgar’s grip and climbed on top of Curtis, snuggling against his chest.  He rubbed her back and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Edgar offered him a hand up and Curtis let him pull him to his feet.  As Curtis headed for the kitchen, and a glass of water, he didn’t miss the look that Edgar and Divya shared.  Curtis poured himself a glass of water and shared it with Misha, who was awful about communicating when she was thirsty.  Actually, he suspected she wasn’t great at recognizing when she was thirsty.  

Curtis eventually set Misha on the counter and started preparing dinner.  At least it was a change of pace.  Gray and some of his crew had stumbled across a warehouse that miraculously hadn't been plundered since the freeze.  It was halfway across the city so the logistics of getting the goods back to Perseverance had been a bit of a challenge.  Curtis spent most of last night helping them secure the cargo before scavengers could swoop in and take off with things.

A quarter of the goods were a loss, perishable items that hadn’t been done any favors by spending the last twenty years frozen.  But the rest was okay.  There was a lot of nonperishable food, and other sundries like clothes and soap.  There had been some toys and Curtis snagged a couple, but he was saving those for a special occasion.  

But for tonight, they were going to have spaghetti and sauce.  Curtis couldn’t remember the last time he’d had spaghetti, real spaghetti.  There were a couple of guys who lived in A block who would make noodles any time someone found a big cache of flour.   But they weren’t like this.  They weren’t the noodles he remembered from his childhood.

The kids were still screeching in the other room.  Curtis held Misha as he stirred the noodles and sauce.  He had no idea where Maddy was.  Edgar wandered into the kitchen, sniffing.  “You cookin’?”

Curtis looked over at him.  Edgar ventured closer, looking at the contents of the pot.  “Do you want to stay for dinner, Edgar?”

“Yes,” Edgar answered, almost before Curtis had finished asking.

 

* * *

 

Curtis was looking at a set of schematics with Vasquez when Mason ran into the room, covered in chalky white dust.  “Hurry!” she yelled.

Curtis dropped everything and ran, following Mason to the stairs.  Mason was leading a team that was renovating parts of the lower levels of the building.  Curtis knew it had been an old parking garage under the office building.  There were five levels, all below ground.  Mason was head of the team that was prepping for the moles to start digging tunnels as the first stage of the expansion project.

Edgar was on the team.

Curtis followed Mason at breakneck speed down the stairs.  The entire stairwell was filled with a thick, choking dust.  The lanterns, one per floor, could barely cut the gloom.  They got to sub level four and the way was blocked with debris.  Andrew and Gray were there, both covered in dust like Mason.

“What happened?” Curtis demanded.  He was vaguely aware of Vasquez at his side.

Gray shook his head.  “Explosion,” he said.  “Caused a cave in.”

Curtis held Gray’s gaze for a long moment.  He needed to know if it was sabotage or not, but he didn’t want to ask Gray in front of everyone else.  “How many people?”

Andrew set his hand on top of his own head, shaking his head, seemingly unaware of the deep gash in his cheek.  “Crew was a dozen,” he said.  “Fitz and Skinny are gone.”  He crumpled into a crouch, still clutching the top of his head.

Curtis ignored him.  He turned as more people made their way down the stairs.  “Get more lights,” he barked, and then immediately coughed.  “And supplies.  Ropes, beams, bandages.  Someone find Nam and Shinji and get them down here.  Keep everyone else out.”

It was hours before they started making any progress.  They had a headcount.  Of the dozen on the crew, three got out, Mason, Gray, and Andrew.  At least three were dead.  They’d already pulled Fitz and Lopez out of the rubble.  That left another six unaccounted for, Edgar among them.

“Get that timber in here,” Paulson bellowed.  Her crew of moles was the best in camp and Curtis had pulled them off their job to help.  He wasn’t exactly clear on whether he had the authority to do that, but he’d done it anyway.

Curtis had sent Gray to tell Gilliam and Anna what happened.  He felt somewhat like a chickenshit for doing that, but he also figured he was of more use where he was.

Paulson looked at him over her shoulder and nodded.  “It’s as stable as we’re going to get it.”

Curtis nodded and headed for the opening they’d made, followed by Wilson, another of the moles.  They had headlamps and ropes.  Curtis scrambled over the pile of rubble and then had to drop to his belly, crawling between the piles of rubble and debris.    He called out, hoping for an answer, but heard nothing.

 

* * *

 

Anna forced herself to take her time.  She took the facemask, doing her best to hide the fact that her hands were shaking, and secured the straps behind her ears.  Heads were going to roll.  Later.  Why had they waited so long to inform her about the accident?  By Gray’s estimate, it had been nearly three hours since the cave in.  Edgar had been missing for hours.  A quarter of the crew was already confirmed dead.  Icy, frantic fear squeezed her heart.  Not Edgar.  She would give anything.

She followed Gray and Mason down the stairwell.  Dust still hung in the air.  She could hear shouts below, frantic calls, the sound of rock and wood scraping.

“Easy!” someone bellowed.  

Anna turned the last bend in the stairs and she could finally see the tableau below, people clustered near the rough opening that had once been a doorway.  Some people sat on the stairs, being tended by medics, coated in dust so thick no skin was visible at all.  Surely they’d been some of those trapped.

Below, on the floor, there was a group of people clustered together.  There was someone - or someones - on the floor.  No.  No, no, no.

Anna looked at the faces of the people sitting on the floor, they were disembodied eyes in a sea of chalky gray dust.  None of the eyes belonged to Edgar.  She continued toward the group of people.

Paulson, one of the moles, looked over her shoulder and caught sight of Anna.  She tapped several others on the shoulder, urging them to step back, to make way.

Anna sobbed with relief, falling to her knees.  Edgar was there, on the ground.  He looked terrible.  His leg and one of his arms were splinted.  There was a bleeding wound at his temple.  But he was awake, talking, gesturing.

Edgar reached for Anna as soon as her knees hit the ground and she crouched over him, hugging him as tightly as she could manage without doing him further harm.  “S’okay, Mum,” he said, over and over. “S’okay.  I’m okay.  Da pulled me out.”

It wasn’t until Edgar said it that Anna even took notice of where Edgar was lying, half across Curtis, his upper body supported against Curtis.  Anna met Curtis’s eyes and she knew their expressions were nearly identical.  Relief.  And gratitude.  

 

* * *

 

Anna wasted no time in having everyone moved out of the dusty stairwell and up to what had once been the lobby of the building.  More medics were waiting, along with worried family members.  

From Wald, Anna learned that Edgar had been the last one pulled from the rubble.  Curtis  crawled through first, over the precarious piles of debris - ahead of the moles.  Edgar was pinned beneath rubble.  Curtis never left his side as the rest of the crew were helped to safety.  

According to Wald, Curtis was the one who finally managed to free Edgar.  He then helped get Edgar to the stairwell, when everyone else had written him off as lost.

“It was damn stupid of Curtis,” Wald said gruffly, as they stood on one of the landings watching as two of Curtis’s regular crew moved Edgar on a stretcher.  “I know he’s your boy, but even Paulson pulled her people out when the debris started shifting.”

“I’ve found explaining the odds to Curtis rarely deters him,” Anna said tightly.  She understood that saving Edgar had been a risky gamble, and not one many people would have made.  But she was fiercely happy Curtis had.  She couldn’t imagine her life without Edgar.

It took hours to get everyone patched up.  Edgar was in the worst shape, of all the survivors.  His left leg was broken and his right shoulder dislocated.  The gash across his scalp and temple took nearly three dozen stitches to close.  Gently, Anna took a damp cloth and wiped at Edgar’s face.  He needed a shower, badly.  Curtis looked almost as bad.  

“You’re going to need help,” Anna told Edgar.  “At least for a few weeks.”  She frowned.  “You can stay with me, though we’ll need help getting you there.”

“He, uh,” Curtis said quietly, “he can stay with me.  If that’s easier.  The apartment is all one level.  It would be easier with crutches.”

Anna frowned at him sourly.  “Yes, and filled with screaming children and a wife you haven’t even bothered to consult.”

“I’d like to stay with Curtis,” Edgar said, meeting and holding Anna’s gaze.

Frowning again, Anna pushed herself to her feet.  She nodded at Curtis and he followed her out into the hallway.  “He needs rest,” she said firmly.

“I know,” Curtis said.  “But he says he can’t get around your place, and no one is ever there.”

Anna crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at Curtis.  “If you think I would abandon - “

“You have a lot to do,” Curtis said, cutting across her.  His expression was sober  “Especially now.  You can’t afford to play nursemaid to Edgar.”

“And you can?”

“I can help,” Curtis said.  “But Divya and Kelsey can too.  They’re the girls who help with the kids.  Kelsey has an older sister who might be able to assist as well.”

“What about Madeline?” Anna asked, arching a brow.

Curtis shrugged.  “She’s not there a whole lot,” he said.  “And for what it’s worth, I don’t think she minds Edgar.  He’s usually at least as pissed off at me as she is.”

Anna shook her head.  “You have five screaming children, Curtis.”

“I know,” he said.  “But at Edgar’s age, that won’t be a deterrent to recovery.  It’s not like he wants two weeks of solitude.  Left to his own devices, he’d probably do more harm to himself out of boredom than the kids could do to him.”

As much as Anna wanted to argue, she knew that Curtis was probably right.  Her apartment was not easily accessible.  It would be a chore for Edgar to even get there.  And once there, it wouldn’t be easy to navigate on crutches.  And, as Curtis had pointed out, Edgar probably wouldn’t appreciate the solitude.  He’d get bored.  And lord only knew how much harm that boy could do himself in search of amusement.  “Fine,” she said.  She narrowed her gaze at Curtis.  “What aren’t you and Edgar telling me?”

Curtis shrugged.  “I think Edgar likes Divya quite a bit.”

Anna rolled her eyes.  

 

* * *

 

Edgar shared an apartment with four other guys.  Anna went there with Father and they gathered up several changes of clothes and other things Edgar would need until he was recovered enough to move back to the apartment.  As they made their way to Curtis’s place, Anna tried to steel herself for coming face to face with Madeline.  She’d gone out of her way to avoid it for months.  As it turned out, she shouldn’t have bothered.

Curtis’s children were there, screaming demons, all of them.  And then the two girls, Divya and Kelsey.  But there was no sign of Madeline.

Curtis and Gray moved furniture, setting up a room for Edgar while Anna assisted him in getting cleaned up.  He had dirt everywhere and it took three washes to even begin to get it out of his hair.  By the time he was moderately clean, he was exhausted and his features were tight with pain.

Anna got Edgar settled in his room, and dosed him with pain medication, pressing a hard kiss to his damp hair as she left.  It was very telling that he was too tired and in too much pain to protest her mothering of him.

By the time Anna made it back to Curtis’s kitchen, Father and Gray were gone.  All of the little kids were in bed, and the girls had disappeared to their room.  Anna sat down in one of the chairs at the table, watching as Curtis exited the bathroom, dressed in clean clothes, a towel around his neck.  He’d done a fairly good job of getting the grime out, but not all.  As he sat down, Anna stood up.  She took the few steps to him and reached out, unwinding the towel from his neck.

“Hold still,” she said, taking the towel and gently scrubbing away the patches of grime behind his ears.  It seemed natural to touch Curtis in this way, comfortable.  And she knew this was dangerous.  Forcing herself away from him, Anna handed him back the towel.  

“You want tea?” he asked.

“Got anything stronger?”

He smiled and rose to his feet.  He produced a bottle of scotch and two chipped coffee cups.  They each took a drink and sank heavily back in their respective chairs. 

He looked over at her, watching her carefully over the rim of his cup.  Taking a deep breath, he leaned back, setting the cup on the table, holding her gaze.  “How are you, Anna?”

She laughed mirthlessly.  “Exhausted,” she said, feeling it in her bones.  The stress of the day had left her feeling completely wiped out.  

She looked at Curtis.  He looked more exhausted than her.  There were scrapes across all his knuckles.  His right cheek had a deep abrasion.  His eyes were red, no doubt from the dust, and he kept coughing.  “Thank you,” she said meaningfully.

He looked at her, pursing his lips together.  “I know you and Edgar don’t agree, but he’s my son.  He’ll always be my son as far as I’m concerned.  I didn’t make a choice to go after him.  He needed me.  I went.”

Anna didn’t argue with him.  Edgar was no longer a child.  He was free to decide whether or not to include Curtis in his life.  Given that he was currently staying with Curtis, it seemed obvious that Edgar wanted a connection.  Anna suspected Divya might be an incentive, but she wasn’t the reason Edgar was here.  Anna hadn’t missed that Edgar called Curtis  _ Da  _ earlier _.   _

“Still,” she said.  “Thank you.”

He nodded to her.

She finished her drink and, somewhat reluctantly, rose to her feet.  She looked down at him.  “I should go,” she said.

He gave her a little frown, but he didn’t argue.  

“Get some rest, Curtis,” she said, softer.

 

* * *

 

The morning wasn’t one of the better ones he’d had, but Curtis was okay.  He was bruised, and his hands ached.  He was up a lot of the night coughing and figured he was due for a lingering case of bronchitis, that hopefully wouldn’t turn into lung cancer.  But aside from a sleepless night, and generally feeling like shit, he was okay.  

Edgar was quite a bit worse off than Curtis, but being younger and in better shape, Curtis knew Edgar would bounce back quickly.  Whether or not he could keep from driving everyone in apartment nuts until he healed remained to be seen.  Edgar wasn’t a good patient.  He took after Anna in that respect.  His temper was short, even with Divya.  But Curtis knew that as soon as Edgar got some autonomy and mobility back, he would be much easier to live with.

Anna was around a lot, especially the first couple of days after Edgar was hurt.  Maddy wasn’t around much, which was a blessing.  Not that she was around a lot before, but she seemed determined to avoid Anna.  When she needed something from the apartment, she sent Marisol.  And the kids were continually going back and forth between the two apartments.

Curtis knew that Anna and Madeline had a decades old bone to pick with one another.  He figured Maddy was doing the right thing by hiding out.  Anna always could hold a grudge.  And Curtis knew very well just how dirty she could fight.

A week later and Curtis’s cough was finally starting to abate.  Edgar was on the mend, and already pushing himself farther than the medics felt was prudent.  Anna’s visits were less frequent, but there was one night when she lingered after Edgar had crashed for the night.

They sat at the table, drinking - tea this time.  It had become somewhat of a ritual for them, since Edgar was hurt.  They both generally ended their days sharing a drink.

Curtis knew that Anna’s mind was far from the moment they were sharing.  He drank his tea and waited.  She finally blew out a harsh breath and frowned at him.  “There’s a meeting tomorrow.  I want you there.”

He arched an eyebrow in question.

“Council meeting,” she said.  “To discuss the explosion.”

Curtis tapped his fingers on the table.  “Does the Council know I’m coming?”  He wasn’t exactly their favorite person.  They put up with him because Anna gave them no choice.  But they didn’t trust him.  He was a newcomer.  He knew that they understood he had a history with Anna, though he knew they weren’t privy to the details.

“I don’t need their approval,” she said sharply.

Curtis sighed.  “They’re just trying to look out for you,” he said quietly.  “They don’t trust me.”

She was quiet for a long moment.  “I don’t trust you either, Curtis.  But I want you at that meeting.”

 

* * *

 

Anna’s security was never particularly lax, but the Council meeting was locked up tight as a drum.  Curtis knew they didn’t want to let him in, but at Anna’s bark, the guards stepped aside.

The air in the room was tense.  Everyone was on edge.

“Can we start now?” Sondre demanded.  He looked over at Curtis with a nasty expression on his ratty little face.

“Yes,” Anna said, her voice deathly calm, “we can start.”   She took a deep breath and called, “Weaver.”

The door on the other side of the room was opened and Weaver walked through.  Behind her were two of her security force goons.  Between them, they supported Ivan, one of Anna’s seconds.  He’d been beat to hell, which was clearly not a shock to Anna.

Curtis watched as Sondre’s eyes went wide.

The goons dragged Ivan to the middle of the room and made him kneel.  Weaver looked down at him.  “Tell them.”  When Ivan didn’t say anything, Weaver gave one of the goons a hard look.  He cracked Ivan in the back of the head.

Ivan grunted and looked over at Anna, who met his gaze without any outward response.  He took a breath and shook his head, defeated.  “It was Franco the Elder.”

“The Engineer of Summit camp?” Weaver demanded.

Ivan nodded slowly.  “He paid us with rations and,” he glanced up at Anna, “women.  He wanted it to look like accidents.”

“Who is  _ us _ ?  Who helped you?”

Ivan shook his head and the guard cracked him across the back of the skull again, this time sending him sprawling to the floor.  The guard waited a moment before hauling Ivan back to his knees.  He finally released him with a shove.

“Me,” Ivan said.  He glanced up.  “And Claude and Mason.”

Claude bolted for the door, but Weaver’s crew was ready.  They wrestled her to the ground with scary efficiency.

Weaver looked at Anna.  “We have Mason in a holding cell already.  She was more than happy to tell us everything in exchange for exile.”

Anna nodded.  “I want Mason gone within the hour.  If she shows her face again, kill on sight.  The executions will be public,” she said flatly.  “Tomorrow.”

Weaver nodded and the goons dragged Ivan out of the room.

Anna looked around the room.  “Be aware that is how dissention will be handled,” she said darkly.  “I know not all of you agree with the expansion project, but it’s happening.  And if you stand in my way, it will be the last thing you do.”

Anna dismissed everyone with an irritated wave of her hand.  Most people looked shocked.  Wald, cranky old bastard that he was, seemed to have enjoyed the show.  Sondre looked lost, scared.

When everyone but Curtis had gone, Anna took a deep breath, her shoulders slumping.  Curtis knew that, despite how it looked, the display hadn’t been easy on her.  Anna came to Perseverance years earlier.  According to what Gilliam said, the camp had been foundering at the time.  It had been obvious to Anna what needed to happen to make it successful.  

It took two years before her leadership of the camp was secure.  Two years of forging alliances and getting rid of enemies.  It was a hard fight, but the rewards were astounding.  The camp thrived under Anna’s direction.  Today, her leadership was unquestioned.  She took her responsibilities very seriously and it was vitally important to her that those who put their faith in her were safe.

“Do you think you got all of them?” Curtis asked.

She was facing away from him, her hands braced on her desk.  She shook her head.  “No, but hopefully I scared their conspirators back into line.  It will come out, eventually.  It always does.”  Slowly, she turned and looked at him.  She gave him a small smile.  “How are you feeling?”

He nodded.  “Better.  Cough’s finally clearing up.”  He cleared his throat.  “Edgar was hell on wheels this morning.  So I figure he’s feeling better too.”

She nodded, looking tired.  Cautiously, he crossed the room to her.  When she didn’t move away, he reached out and grasped her fingers lightly, giving them a gentle squeeze.  “Hey,” he said softly, “you did what you had to do.”

He half expected to get belted in the mouth for it, but she just looked at him.  She turned away, but returned the squeeze of his hand.  “Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

The expansion plan was ambitious, though Curtis knew Anna had never lacked ambition.  Perseverance needed space.  The number of refugees in search of shelter had picked up.  There were a handful of new arrivals from the dregs of Span.  And more and more from Park.  There were some Outlanders, from outposts far to the east of the ruined city.

The public executions did nothing to derail the project’s momentum.  At first, it looked like the most difficult part of the expansion was going to be trying to run electrical conduit under the warren of old stormwater sewers that ringed several of the newly acquired buildings.  Curtis knew it was too good to be true.  

It started slow.  Some tools went missing, then three weeks worth of cabling work was sabotaged.  Curtis and Wald were both uncomfortable, but, in itself, it was not enough of a disturbance to make it into a thing.  

Then Seth got his skull split open, alone in one of the wiring closets.

Anna wasn’t happy, but she had clearly been expecting more unrest.  “It’s Franco again,” she said, referring to the Engineer of Summit camp.

“What do you want us to do about it?” Wald asked.

“Gray’s been reassigned,” she said.

That seemed to be enough for Wald, who left, but Curtis stuck around.  “What’s Gray going to do?”

She looked up at him.  “Gray and his sister, Rosh, handle a lot of our stickier situations with the other camps.”

“Handle, how?”

She shook her head.  “You know exactly what I mean.  Franco’s people are trespassing into our territory, attacking infrastructure, and now people.  It can’t be allowed to stand.”

“They’re attacking because they know you’re eventually going to attack them,” he said carefully.

She arched an eyebrow.  “Well, they’ve certainly sealed the deal at this point.”

Curtis wasn’t sure what he thought about the situation.  Perseverance needed more space.  Summit was in the way.  They were a smaller camp, not not known for their welcoming ways.  They tended to harbor a lot of the misfits and criminals who were kicked out of the other camps.  By all accounts, Franco the Elder, and his lover and/or son (accounts varied) Franco the Younger, were a pair of sadists.  It didn't break Curtis’s heart that Anna was striking back with lethal force.  But he also wasn’t keen on starting a war where his kids could get caught in the crossfire.

He knew, in the end, that Anna would keep her own counsel on what was to be done.  He nodded.  “Let me know if I can help with anything.”

 

* * *

 

Gray, Rosh, and their crew were on the job for a couple of weeks.  They surprised two separate raiding parties from Summit, sent some of them home with their tails between their legs.  Some didn’t go home at all.

It seemed to have taken care of the problem.  Curtis and the rest of the expansion crew got started on rehabbing the buildings in earnest.  There weren’t anymore sabotage or attacks.  Curtis thought that Summit must have decided to cut their losses.

It turned out he was wrong.

Curtis was on the crew that found nearly six months of infrastructure repairs, all destroyed.  They did a thorough job of it too.  None of the equipment or supplies could be repurposed.

When Curtis got to Anna’s office, it was late.  Wald and Weaver were there, but as soon as Curtis walked in the room, Anna gave the other two a pointed look.  Wald and Weaver packed up and left without a word.

Curtis knew something was going on, but he stood there, waiting.

Finally Anna sighed.  “Let’s have a drink, Curtis.”

He expected her to take the bottle out of her desk drawer, but instead she grabbed her coat.  He followed her out the door, and then down the Church steps and across the courtyard.  They ducked into the subway tunnels.

Curtis had never been to Anna’s apartment, but he knew that was where they were headed.  He felt a sense of impending dread.  This wasn’t a social call.  What was so secret that she had to invite him into her private sanctuary to discuss it?

The route was winding and they seemed to be going in circles, which, Curtis knew, was the point.  They finally stopped in front of a door and Anna opened it with a key.  It must have been an old relay station.  It had been mostly cleared out, repurposed into living quarters.  It wasn’t fancy, but it was functional.  And it was very private.

Anna turned on a lamp and shrugged out of her coat, turning to face him.  She held her hand out to him and he removed his own coat.  He watched her hang them on a set of hooks near the door.

She finally looked at him.  “I need a spy,” she said.  “Inside Summit.”

Curtis’s jaw tightened.  “That’s a dangerous play.”

She nodded.  “I know.  But in the long run, it will be the most bloodless solution.”

He couldn’t fault her logic, but he swallowed thickly.  “I take it you didn’t invite me here to help you work through a list of names,” he said.  “You want me to go.”

She sighed, allowing her armor to crack, ever so slightly.  She looked tired.  And sad.  He watched as she crossed the room and took two tumblers out of a cabinet, pouring bourbon into both of the glasses before handing him one.

She took a sip.  He watched the muscles in her throat move as she swallowed.  “I need someone who can convince Franco the Elder that they’re a real traitor.”

He nodded, frowning.  Fuck.  “And I’m a good choice because I’ve already betrayed you once.” 

“You’re not a good choice, Curtis,” she said quietly.  “You’re the only choice.  I need someone who Franco will believe is a traitor.  But I also need someone I trust.”  She shrugged.  “You’re the only one who fits that description.”

Curtis watched her carefully.  “You trust me?  Since when?”

She sighed heavily and took another drink of bourbon.  She crossed the room to a couch and sat down.  Curtis followed, taking a seat next to her.

She sat with her elbows braced on her thighs, hunched forward, staring down into what remained of the bourbon.  “I did what I had to do, Curtis.  For myself.  And for Edgar.  But it doesn’t mean I don’t have regrets.”

“Anna, if I could go back and change - “

She looked at him, her expression hard.  “Let’s not.  There’s no point.”

He knew she was right, but he still wanted to explain, to try and make things right.  But he knew Anna had no intention of rehashing things.  They were done and dusted. But if he wanted a shot at carving out a future for himself, this was probably it.   

“My kids,” he said.  “Maddy can’t do it by herself.  I need assurance that if it goes south, they’ll be taken care of.”

“We take care of our own in Perseverance,” she said.

“You know what I mean, Anna,” he said.  “They’re my kids.  I don’t want them scraping by.  I want them to have a life.  It’s why we came here.”

She looked at him, holding his gaze.  “I will protect them,” she said quietly.  She frowned and looked away.  “Though I make no such promise about Madeline.  She makes her own fate.”

He snorted.  “I figured.”

“You could spare us all the maudlin headache and just come back in one piece,” she said sourly.

He looked at her, a soft smile tugging at his lips.  “I’ll try.”

She nodded and took another drink.

He sat there, sloshing the amber liquid around in his glass.  “I want to swear fealty to the camp.”  He paused.  “To you.”

She sighed, setting the empty glass on a nearby bookshelf before slumping back on the couch.  “I already told you, Curtis.  I’m not airing our laundry for everyone to see.”

“Fine,” he countered.  “No public show.  Something between us.”

She looked at him, holding his gaze.  “What do you mean between us?”

Curtis figured it was now or never.  She needed something from him, which was an absolute rarity.  They were alone, and actually talking about things.  Well, as much as Anna ever talked about anything.  He figured it was even odds on whether she would stab him again or not, but he had to take the chance.

Never breaking eye contact, he pushed himself off the couch, kneeling next to her.  He moved so he was directly in front of her.  She watched him intently, leaning back against the couch cushions.  Her expression was shuttered, unreadable, but he could see the slight flush across the tops of her cheeks.  He knew Anna had to be as lonely as he was.  Probably moreso.  She might have lovers, but she didn’t have confidants.  She didn’t have friends.

He reached out, touching her gently, his hands skimming along the outsides of her knees.  “I swear my life to yours, Anna Gilliam.  I pledge myself, my word, and my will to you.  I am your bondsman, your oathtaker.  I am yours.  So long as I live.”

She blinked at him.  He watched her throat move as she swallowed harshly.  Without breaking eye contact, she shrugged out of her sweater, leaving her in a tight tanktop.  Her upper arms were ringed with intricately designed metal cuffs.  They were a mixture of hammered copper and amber colored stones.  They were hers, personally, not like the ones she gave her bondsmen at the public fealty ceremonies.  

She tugged at one of the cuffs, pulling it down her arm.  Curtis’s sweater was too heavy, too tight for him to pull up his sleeve, so he shrugged the sweater over his head, leaving him bare from the waist up.  

Anna looked him up and down, arching an eyebrow.  “You’ve changed.”

He shrugged.  “We all get older.”

She gave him a wry smile.  “That’s not what I meant.”

She sat forward and took the cuff in one hand, and his hand in the other.  She slid the metal band over his hand and up his arm.  Being significantly larger than her, the cuff would only go so high as the middle of his forearm.  But that was okay.  It was enough.

She looked at him, giving him a smile.  “I accept you as my bondsman, Curtis Everett.”

He watched her.  They both stayed where they were, almost as if they were afraid to move.  He was kneeling between her knees, shirtless.  She was softer than he had seen her in a long time, without her coat and boots.  Without her weapons, and guards, and seconds.  

He leaned in toward her and she didn’t protest.  As he touched his lips gently to hers, her hand came up, cupping his jaw.  Her other hand rested against his bare chest, over his heart. 

It was a bit of a rush after that.  Mouths and hands both busy.  They made it to the bed.  Anna was as demanding as she had ever been.  Curtis never wanted her more.  It certainly wasn’t the most impressive showing either of them had ever made, but as they curled against one another, lips swollen and skin damp with sweat, they were both sated.

“Tell me you’re not still fucking Maddy.”

Curtis was skimming his hand up and down her bare back.  “I haven’t slept with Maddy - or anyone else - in years.”

Anna looked at him skeptically, but whatever she saw in his expression must have convinced her that he was telling the truth.

“And you,” he said.  “What about your seconds?”

She shrugged.  “Ivan is definitely out of the picture.”

“And the other one?”

She looked at him and gave him a gentle smile.  

“That’s not an answer.”

“No, it’s not,” she admitted.  

“ _ Anna _ .”

She frowned at him, eyes narrowed.  “I’ll get rid of Sondre.  For now.”

He didn’t argue.  He knew it was as much of a commitment as he was going to get out of her.  But he also knew she was being intentionally vague to torture him.  He knew intimacy of any type had never been particularly easy for Anna.  She didn’t trust lightly.  It was in her nature to guard herself vigilantly, both physically and emotionally.  

Curtis knew a lot of that is his own doing.  He betrayed her when she was at her most vulnerable.  He was the one who screwed that up, not Anna.  

But, somehow, she decided to give him a second chance.  That, alone, spoke volumes to how isolated she was.  He had no idea if she was just using him, or if she was giving him a legitimate chance.  He suspected she didn’t really know either.

It didn’t matter.  A chance was a chance, and he intended to make the most of it.

END CHAPTER


	3. Chapter 3

Curtis stayed that first night, but after that, he and Anna shared a series of stolen moments.  He couldn’t leave the kids for long.  And Anna was busy day and night with camp business.  They were keeping their relationship quiet.  Very quiet.  Curtis knew Wald suspected something, but as far as he knew, no one else did.

Curtis walked into Anna’s office.  As usual, there were plenty of people milling around.  “Do you have time to look at some cable runs?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him.  “Where’s Wald?”

“If I knew where Wald was, I wouldn’t be asking you,” he countered, frowning.

Sighing, Anna grabbed her coat and followed him out of the Church and toward the tunnels.  They past several groups of workers, nodding to them.  Curtis finally stopped at a networking closet, unlocking the door.  “In here.”

Anna entered the closet and Curtis crowded in after her, pulling the door closed, latching it from the inside. He kissed her hard, pressing her back against the wall and her hands were already under his coat and shirts.  There was only a tiny bit of light from the cracks around the door.

They did what they could, shoving at material, contorting themselves in the cramped space.  They managed to get Anna’s pants around her ankles and then Curtis was pushing into her, his fingers biting into her thighs.  Her nails dug into his shoulders and he bit down on her earlobe as he drove into her.  He knew that she loved it when he talked, so he kept up a stream of filth, telling her all the ways he’d imagined her since they were last together, all the things he intended to do to her.  She groaned, shivering in his embrace.  He let himself go, burying himself inside her.  

They only stayed like that for a moment before Anna was smacking his shoulder.  “Let me down.”  Reluctantly, he withdrew and carefully set her down.  She made a plaintive noise.  “Fuck.  I’m going to have bruises.”

He was trying to right his own clothes.  “Who’s going to see your thighs?”

“That’s not the fucking point, Curtis.”

Once her clothes were sorted, she paused.  She set a hand on his forearm.  It took him a moment to realize she was touching the metal cuff he wore.  He leaned down and kissed her gently, trying to tell her with actions, the words she wouldn’t let him speak.

She finally pulled away.  He opened the door, peering outside.  The coast was clear and he ushered her out.

 

* * *

 

Everyone turned to him when he walked into Anna’s office.  It was late and the Church was mostly deserted.  Curtis took off his gloves, shoving them in his pocket.  Wald walked to the door and secured it.

“We can’t trust him,” Weaver said bluntly, looking between Anna and Curtis.

Anna shrugged.  “I guess we’ll find out.”

“You’re really going to send  _ him _ to Summit,” Weaver pushed.

“We’ve been over this,” Wald said, his voice a dry scrape.  “We don’t have any better options.”

“We could forget this idea and simply burn Summit to the ground,” Weaver countered.

“We need their resources,” Anna said.  She looked Curtis up and down.  Her expression was tight.  Curtis wondered if she was having second thoughts.

“If you do this,” Weaver said, “it’s over my objections.”

“Duly noted,” Anna replied tersely.  She looked at Wald.  “Is everything ready on your end?”

He nodded.

“Then it’s settled,” Anna said.  “Curtis goes tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

Curtis’s hands framed Anna’s face and he kissed her gently.  Groaning, he pushed himself away.  He rolled over and reached for his clothes, pulling them on.  “I have to get back,” he said.  “See the kids.”

She didn’t say anything, she just watched him.  Finally dressed, he stood next to her bed, looking down at her.  “Be careful,” she said softly.

He nodded.

“Come home.”

* * *

 

Anna was standing at her desk, looking down at the set of schematics Wald had left.  The door slammed and she glanced over her shoulder at Edgar.  

He crossed the room to her quickly, probably more quickly than was prudent on crutches.  He was scowling.  “You knew he was going.”

“I’m the camp Engineer,” she said flatly.

“And what happens when he gets his damn self killed?” Edgar demanded.  “Do you have any idea how many mouths he has to feed?”

She looked back at the schematics.  “I do, actually.  They’ll be taken care of, so you can desist with the tantrum.  It was one of Curtis’s caveats for taking the assignment.”

“He’s doing this for you, you know,” Edgar snapped.  “To try and make up for all the bullshit with Maddy.  It isn’t enough that he’s still in love with you.  You have to punish him.”  When she didn’t reply, he continued, “Maybe that’s what you want.  Maybe you want him dead.”

She gave Edgar a warning look.  “If memory serves, you were the one who wanted me to throw him and his new family out to starve.”

He gritted his teeth together, but he didn’t deny it.

She sighed.  “I know you’re worried Edgar, but Curtis can take care of himself.”  Maybe if she said it enough times, she would believe it.  She motioned to one of the chairs by her desk and Edgar hobbled over and sank down with a sigh.

“How are his kids?”

Edgar nodded.  “Okay.  The little one, Misha, she’s having a tough time with Curtis gone.”

“There’s a woman, Nahid, who is supposed to be working with Misha.”

Edgar nodded.  “Yeah.  She was there today.  She’s ... good.  Really good.”  He glanced up at Anna.  “I’m helping out when I can.”

Anna nodded, waiting.

He sighed.  “We just want him to come home.”

“I know, Edgar.”

 

* * *

 

Anna stared out the bank of windows.  Harlan Square was the tallest building in Perseverance territory.  The top floor was a huge open space lined with windows.  It was bitterly cold, but the view was incredible.  And it was very quiet.  She liked to come here to think.  But tonight was not about her mental health.

Anna was vaguely aware of the shadow that moved across the room.  She turned toward him.  “Any word?”

Gray came to stand at her side.  “Yeah,” he said.  He handed her the envelope.  A letter.  From Curtis.  He’d been gone three weeks already.

“Did you see him?”

Gray nodded.

She looked over at him and he met her gaze and held it.  She frowned.  “Was it bad?”

Gray shrugged.  “They roughed him up pretty good.  But that’s probably a good sign.  As far as I can tell, it’s part of their initiation.”

“Do you think this plan has a chance in hell of working?”  She looked up at him.  “Really?”

“I think if you want to avoid an all out war, this is the only plan that has a chance.”

* * *

 

Curtis hadn’t realized how much Perseverance had become home until he was on the outside again.  He missed his kids.  All of them.  And he missed Anna.  

He and Anna were more reconciled than he’d ever dared hope.  They were having sex.  But they weren’t a couple.  Not really.  She made it very clear she didn’t want anyone to know.  But he knew, from the way she held him in the dark, that it was more than just sex to her.

Curtis hoped that when he made it back to camp, they could work through things.  He loved her.  He’d never really doubted that.  But now, more than ever, he was certain.  He’d spend a lifetime trying to make it up to her, if she’d let him.

He’d been at Summit camp for two months already.  The place was awful.  They were fairly well organized, but the whole camp was just rotten to the core.  There was a culture of the strong preying on the weak.  No one helped anyone else out until there was some immediate, tangible benefit to themselves.  It reminded him so much of Wilford’s fucking train that it made his stomach turn.  Dog eat dog.  

But Curtis felt like he was finally starting to make some headway.  Franco the Elder was finally starting to pull him closer.  It meant that Curtis had to be twice as careful as usual.  He’d missed last week’s rendezvous with Gray.  He was being watched too closely.  He couldn’t risk it.

 

* * *

 

“You’re pregnant.”

“ _ Shit _ ,” Anna cursed, grinding her teeth together.  She’d been afraid of this for weeks, and had avoided coming to see Tanya in the hopes that it would all be over before she needed to bother with it.

Tanya arched an eyebrow.  “I take it you’re not excited about a kid.”

Anna concentrated on breathing for several moments.  “A kid would be great,” she finally said.  “But I’m not looking forward to yet another miscarriage.”

Tanya nodded.  “This has happened before?”  Tanya had been the midwife at Perseverance for the last six or seven years.  In that time, Anna had never been to see her.

“Yes,” Anna said bitterly.  “A lot.  I finally quit trying about ten years ago.”

Tanya’s demeanor sobered.  “Somebody do something you didn’t want?”

Anna shook her head and rolled her eyes, cursing her own stupidity.  “Nothing like that.  A new ... old ... partner.  Old habits.  I thought I was past this nonsense.”

Tanya gave a bark of laughter.  “As long as you bleed, honey, you can breed.”

Anna gave her a withering look that did nothing to chasten her.

“So, I guess you let Curtis finish inside you, unlike those boys you’ve been sleeping with,” Tanya said dryly.

Anna glowered.  “Your bedside manner is truly inspiring.”

Tanya snorted.  “Yeah, it’s probably about as good as yours.”

Anna cradled her head in her hands.  “Shit.”

 

* * *

 

“Shut the door.”  Edgar did as she asked and then joined Wald, Weaver, and Gray, in Anna’s office.

Anna looked between Weaver and Gray.  “Is everything still on target?”

Weaver nodded.  “Everything is in place.  If we’re going to do it, tonight is the night.”

Anna looked at Gray.  “How many casualties are we expecting?”

He shrugged.  “Immediately, a couple of dozen at least.  Incidentals after the fact could be a lot higher.  Curtis said a lot of the camp is in rough shape.  Malnutrition, abuse.  Are you going to let them in to Perseverance?”

“I haven’t decided.”

He shrugged again.  “If you let them in, they would most likely survive.  If not, you’re probably looking at a fifty to sixty percent loss rate.  Some of them will move to the other camps.  But a lot of them won’t be able to go anywhere.”

Anna cursed.  “How did an attack and land grab turn into us taking care of Summit’s scraps?”

“You could just let them die,” Gray offered blandly.  “That’s what Franco does.”

Anna ignored him.  “Wald?  What do you think?  Do we have room and resources for that many new refugees?”

Wald made a face, but nodded.  “Aye.  We do.”  He didn’t make it sound like a good thing.

“Fuck,” Anna cursed.  “Fine.  But let’s get this done.  Tonight.”

* * *

 

Edgar didn’t leave her side.  He was recovered enough that he could have participated, at least on the edges.  But he stuck close to her.  Curtis’s oldest son, Marcus, and his youngest son, Micah, were with Edgar.  The four of them stood at the top of Harlan Square, watching the fires in the distance and listening to the chatter on the radios.  Edgar was at Anna’s right side, and Marcus at her left.  Like the two of them were guarding her.

Gray was making regular checkins.  So far, things were going to plan.  But there was still so much that could go wrong.

Micah moved from Edgar’s far side to stand between Edgar and Anna.  He was quiet, far quieter than Anna had believed Curtis’s children capable of being.  He watched with big eyes.  After a while, he slipped his hand through Anna’s.  She couldn't bring herself to pull away.

 

* * *

 

“Dad!”

Curtis turned and scooped Micah into his arms, hugging his son close.  Marcus rammed into both of them, wrapping his arms around them.  Edgar was close on Marcus’s heels, but hung back.  Curtis wasn’t having that, he pulled Edgar close, gripping him tightly.

Edgar laughed, but returned the hug.  “Okay, Da.  Okay.  Let up.  You’re going to smother the little ones.”

Curtis affectionately ruffled Edgar’s hair, but released him.  He was elated, giddy.  He couldn’t believe it worked.  He was finally home.

He was smiling as he turned and looked at Anna.  But her face didn’t light up the way he’d expected.  She gave him a tight smile and nodded, turning away.

 

* * *

 

It took the better part of three hours, but Curtis was determined to get a moment alone with Anna.  He finally found a break in the steady stream of people in her office and shut and locked the door.  He turned to face her.  “What’s going on?”

She arched an eyebrow at him.  “Pardon?”

He frowned at her and crossed the room. He’d been home for four days.  It was enough time to start getting reacclimated to having the kids around again, having a life that wasn’t dependent on his ability to lie through his teeth.

He reached for her hand and she allowed it for a moment, but then pulled away, crossing her arms over her chest.  “Thank you,” she said solemnly.  “Your work was invaluable.”

“Yeah,” he said dryly.  “I’m feeling pretty fucking invaluable right now.”

She gave him a hard look, but then frowned.  “How are your children?”

He nodded, letting her change the subject.  “They’re good.”  He took a deep breath.  “Misha’s really good.  Thank you for sending Nahid.  She’s worked miracles with Misha.”  He laughed, blinking away tears.  “She, uh, called me daddy yesterday.”

Anna nodded.  “I’m glad.”

He looked at her for a long moment and then shrugged.  “What the fuck is going on, Anna?  We were good before I left.  What changed?”   
She turned away, shaking her head.  “Nothing changed, Curtis.  Absolutely nothing.  It’s just that I’ve had some time to think and ... I think that we shouldn’t do this.”

He stared at her, incredulous.  “Why not?  Jesus.  This world is nothing but one horror after another.  Don’t we deserve what happiness we can find?”

“We do,” she agreed.  “Just not with each other.”

He set his hands on his hips and shook his head.  “And who are you going to find that with?  Sondre?  Some little boy who you’d never dream of letting into your heart?  I love you, Anna.  And I know you love me.”

Her expression hardened.  “You presume too much.”

He leaned in toward her.  “I  _ know _ you.  Whether you like it or not.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Curtis,” she snapped.  She took a deep breath.  “I”m thankful for everything you did.  The entire camp owes you a debt.  But I don’t intend to work off my gratitude on my back.  Find someone else to corner in a deserted closet.  Now leave.”

His jaw fell open and he just stared at her, but he was too shocked to actually reply.  Shaking his head, he dumbly walked toward the door.

 

* * *

 

“What the fuck is going on with your mother?”

Edgar looked over at Curtis and shrugged.  “I was hoping you could tell me.  She’s been damn squirrely the last couple of weeks.  Even for her.”

If anyone else had said it, Curtis would have decked them.  But he had to agree with Edgar’s assessment.  Anna was in full on retreat and he had no idea why.  As far as he knew, absolutely nothing had changed since the last time he saw her.  So why was she acting like the rug had been pulled out from under her again?  She was trying to shore up all her weak points, just when Curtis had finally managed to find some chinks in her armor.

He took a deep breath.  “Has she been around?”

Edgar frowned at him.  “What do you mean?  Of course she’s been around.  Mum’s the Engineer.  She’s always around.”

“No,” Curtis said.  “I mean.”  He stopped, regrouped.  “Has she ... taken a few days?  Holed herself up in her apartment?  Anything like that?”

Edgar’s brow furrowed.  “You mean like she used to when we were all at Span?”

Curtis nodded.  “Yeah.”

Edgar’s eyes widened for a moment and then he cringed.  “Fuck, Da.  You’re a glutton for punishment, you know that?”  He shook his head.  “No.  No, she hasn’t.”

Curtis frowned.  That had been his only theory.  That maybe there’d been another miscarriage.  They hadn’t been careful at all before he left for Summit.  That was the only explanation he could come up with, but apparently that wasn’t the case.  He sighed.  “I love her, Edgar.  I’ve loved her since I was seventeen.  I’m always going to love her.”

“Yeah,” Edgar said with resignation.  “I know.  You’re still a dumb bastard.”

“Well, I guess we know where you get it.”

 

* * *

 

“The creches in Salton Tower are still on quarantine because of the new arrivals from Summit.  But I was thinking if we enlarged the  - “  Wald looked up, catching sight of Curtis, and fell silent.  He frowned.  Looking over at Anna he said, “I’m going to go be somewhere that isn’t here.”

Curtis watched him leave.  He closed the door to Anna’s office behind himself.

Anna looked at Curtis and crossed her arms over her chest.  “What?”

“I need to talk to you in private,” he said.  She opened her mouth to argue, but he continued, “I’ll do it here, where anybody could walk in.  But I doubt that’s what you want.”

 

* * *

 

Curtis stepped through the door to Anna’s apartment, watching as she locked it.  He took off his coat and hung it on the hook.  Anna did the same, but she was wearing an enormous sweater underneath, which didn’t make her seem any more approachable. 

Shaking his head, Curtis said, “What happened?”

She shook her head, refusing to look at him.  “I can’t do this anymore, Curtis.  It was insane to think I could.  We’ve learned the hard way that we’re not good for each other.”

“That’s bullshit,” he snapped.  He took a breath, forced himself to calm down.  “Anna was there a ...”  He trailed off.  She looked at him, giving him no quarter.  He sighed.  “We weren’t careful.  Was there another miscarriage?”

She laughed bitterly.  “Fuck.”  She shook her head.  “No, Curtis.  Definitely not.”

He sighed, at a loss.  “Then what?”

She frowned.  “Just leave it alone, Curtis.  Why can’t you go worry about your kids?”

He frowned.  “I do worry about my kids.  As it turns out, I’m capable of loving them  _ and _ you at the same time.”

Her expression softened.  He stepped closer to her and she didn’t retreat.  He pinched her sweater, gently tugging her closer.  She relented with a sigh, leaning against him, tucking her head under his chin.  He wrapped his arms around her, holding her.  He buried his face in her hair.  “I missed you.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist.

Cautiously, deliberately, he moved his head, urging her to look at him.  She tilted her head up, meeting his gaze and her eyes were so sad.  His kiss was tentative at first, trying not to overwhelm her.  She threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer and he leaned into the contact.

It had been too long, and he had been so scared her lost her again.  He deepened the kiss, nipping at her lips.  She tugged at his shirt until he was bare to the waist.  He returned the favor, pulling at her belt, working it loose.  Her trousers were many sizes too large for her, and they slid down her legs with no provocation.  She stepped out of them, and her boots, clutching at his arms so she wouldn’t stumble.  Then they made their way to the bed.  Curtis pulled at the sweater, but she swatted his hands away and he left it alone.

Their kisses became more frantic, their touches more heated.  Curtis flipped Anna onto her back, pinning her wrists to the mattress.

“No,” she snapped.

Curtis went still and looked down at her.  She didn’t look scared.  She looked defiant.  He watched her throat move as she swallowed.  “Gentle,” she said quietly.

He nodded, releasing her hands.  He ducked his head, pressing his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in the scent of her.  His body shuddered and he nodded again.  She murmured his name, her fingernails biting lightly into his shoulders.  He touched her gently, urging her to part her legs.  He rubbed her lightly, kissing her.  

Her hands worked his belt free.  He shrugged out of his trousers, kicking them off.  She pulled her knees back and he lowered himself against her.  He looked at her.  “Okay?”

She nodded.  Slowly, he pushed into her.  Her breath caught, her back arching as she nodded  _ yes _ .  He kept his movements measured, but Anna was soon biting at his lips, her fingernails digging into his shoulders.  She was frustrated with her sweater and tugged it over her head, tossing it away.  He immediately ducked his head, capturing one of her nipples between his lips.  She trembled, her legs tightening around his waist.

She groaned, coming apart around him.  He ground his teeth together and withdrew, but she was immediately pulling him back to her.  “Come inside me.”

He surged against her and let go, losing himself.

Long minutes later, they dozed together in her bed.  He spooned against her, relishing the feel of her in his arms.  Taking a deep breath he said, “Anna, tell me what’s going on.”

Turning in his embrace, she looked at him.  “I’m pregnant.”

He was quiet for a long time, trying to formulate a response.  “Is it ... are you okay?”

She swallowed thickly.  “So far.”  Her eyes were glassy and she looked blindly up at the ceiling.  “I’ve never made it this far.  I don’t know what to expect.”  She looked at him.  “But I’m old.  You’re old.  That can’t possibly help matters.”

He wanted to argue.  Neither of them was even forty yet.  But he knew what she meant.  These days people aged in dog years.  They were old.

Carefully, he asked, “Do you want it?”

She didn’t look at him, but she nodded.  “Yes.”

He didn’t know what else to do.  He just held her.  They’d find a way.  Somehow they’d find a way to make this work no matter what happened.

 

* * *

 

Two months later.  Another fealty ceremony.  Anna stood in her office with Wald, Edgar, Father, Gray and Curtis.  Curtis never bothered to hide the cuff Anna had given him, making him as her oathtaker.  Everybody knew he hadn’t sworn fealty at a ceremony.  But it was common knowledge he was part of Anna’s inner circle.  

It was probably common knowledge he was more than that, but nobody dared to say anything directly to him or Anna.

Rosh pushed through the door.  “They’re ready,” she said.

Anna nodded and looked at Curtis.  He nodded in return.  Slowly, she shrugged out of her coat.  She was wearing the same gown she always wore for the fealty ceremonies, the flowing, silvery silk.  As usual, it completely molded to her body.  The swell of her belly was very evident.

“Well, fuck.  That explains things, doesn’t it,” Wald swore.  Shaking his head, he led the procession out the door.

 

* * *

 

It look a lot of doing, but Anna finally moved out of her dungeon and into Curtis’s apartment.  It was possible only because Maddy had never truly lived there.  Anna and Maddy had learned through trial and error that they could interact with each other in very limited capacities, if they had to.  

But they both went out of their way to avoid it.

The kids were kids.  All of them.  Including Edgar.  Meaning they could be awful and precious, all in the space of a heartbeat.  The parenting of Curtis’s flock had always been a collective endeavor.  The kids seemed largely indifferent to the addition of yet another adult with rules.  They never listened anyway.

The kids were, however, all very interested in the impending addition to the family.

For her part, Anna was physically miserable.  She cursed Curtis daily.  And he knew only part of that was because of how terrified she was.  

He was plenty terrified too.  After so many losses, it was impossible to believe that this pregnancy would be okay - despite all evidence to the contrary.  Tanya said that both Anna and the baby looked great.  Everything was on target.

Anna and Curtis could barely sleep for worry.  And when they did manage to sleep, invariably one of the kids would crawl in bed with them.

Despite the pregnancy going off without a hitch, Anna’s labor was long and difficult.  But in the end  Anna and Curtis’s little boy arrived seemingly perfect.  He was big, bigger than any of Curtis’s other kids had been.  And he was loved.

Misha, in particular, was very taken with the baby.  She would sit and watch him for hours, touching him so gently.

Anna was forced to step back from her Engineer duties, at least for a while.  Everyone else collectively stepped up and picked up the slack.  

It was late when Curtis got back to the apartment.  He closed the door quietly and peeked in the living room.  Anna was in the rocking chair, with John curled in one arm and Misha in the other.  Both kids were asleep.  

“Hey,” Curtis said softly.  He leaned down and kissed Anna.  Then he picked up Misha and went and tucked her into bed.  He came back and gently took John who screeched and gurgled in his sleep before curling up against Curtis’s chest.  “How was today?”

“Your children are hellions.”

“Yeah,” he said blandly.  “What else is new?”

She gave him a soft smile and let him help her up from the chair.  “How’s Wald?”

“Cranky as usual.  I think he misses you.  But it’s hard to tell.”

“Next week I’m going to go to the Church for a few hours while Nahid is with Misha.  I’ll take John with me.”

Curtis nodded.  The other kids would be in school.  “You sure you’re up to it?”

“If I sit around here any longer I’m going to go insane,” she said flatly.  He smiled.  Anna never could sit still.  

Together, they walked through the darkened apartment to the room they shared.  There was a bed with a frame, Anna insisted.  And Curtis had to admit it was far more comfortable than anywhere he’d slept in the last decade.

Carefully, Curtis situated his baby son in the bassinet by the bed.  He knew there was no way the kid was going to stay there for more than an hour.  He never did.  He’d probably wake up about the same time that Misha crawled into bed with them as well.  Curtis thought maybe he should feel put out, but the truth was, he loved the chaos of his family.  He wouldn’t trade it for anything.  And he was pretty sure Anna loved it too, though she always pretended it was a trial.

He waited until Anna was situated and he curled up against her back.  She threaded her fingers through his and sighed deeply.

“I’m glad you’re home, Curtis.”

“Me too.”

 

END STORY

**Author's Note:**

> The dress that Anna wears to the fealty ceremony is based on one of the dresses from the Ezra Haute Couture, Spring 2014. A picture is available [HERE](http://indiefic.tumblr.com/post/150234745694/everythingasoiaf-daenerys-targaryen-ezra).


End file.
